Chapter 14 - One's Choice

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The countless trees rooted down on to the earth, staying still as their leaves filled with multitudes of hues fall as they prepare for winter

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The countless trees rooted down on to the earth, staying still as their leaves filled with multitudes of hues fall as they prepare for winter. The sun began to set, making the scenery, from where I gazed at them through the carriage's window, a mellow orange, contemplating how to deal with the situation at hand. Many guards who were riding horses followed us from behind while other were in front of us, or by our side. 

I shifted my gaze from the window to the seat in front of me. Nilo sat there with his arms crossed, and eyes closed. Not sleeping but meditating. The same weapons he had before still linger on his body. I looked at the seat next to me, and saw August, with his arms on the hilt of the carriage window, staring at the scenery with dismay. 

Many thoughts must be running through his head, most of them negative if I presume. But it is best to leave him be for the moment. I shifted my gaze back towards Nilo. 

Feeling my stare, Nilo opened his eyes and raised his head, looking at me coldly before letting out a sigh. 

"... Young Master... I really wonder what goes through that little head of yours..."

I could not help but scratch my head awkwardly. "... My apologies for dragging you with me, Nilo..."

Nilo shakes his head with disagreement, then crosses his arms once again before showing a stoic face. "Don't be. Even if it was rash, you did it because you wanted to help him, didn't you?" He taps the side of his head with his finger, staying silent while still looking directly at me. "... This was the first time you asked for something, to the point to arguing with His Grace."

He smiles subtly while looking out the window. "Everyone, even His Grace, were surprised by the selfish request you made."

I looked at him with a confused expression while slightly tilting my head. "I see..."

Selfishness: Being concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself; Seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.

Carnal desires that stemmed from being selfish... I never understood. Even when my current parents wanted to pamper or spoil me, I just went along with them without asking for anything else. Whenever they asked if I wanted something more, I just respectfully refused them.

Even in my past life, the idea of being spoiled was non-existent... for me. But even then, I tried to spoil them whenever the chance arrived, so they did not turn out just like me...

But for the first time, I portrayed an act of selfishness. Even if it was for a compelling cause, it hindered other people who regarded my personal wellbeing, and almost put my relationship with them in jeopardy. 

I look down, staring deeply at the carriage floor with an emotionless expression. But behind my face, I feel a sense of guilt... I did it to help August, so he would not experience the tragedies from the Novel once more.

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