Better- SeongSang

60 - Seonghwa

I didn't do anything.

Once those damn stupid tests were over, I kept quiet as Yeosang basically helped me back to the dorms. I was just so damn tired. I organized and cleaned up my Legos but once that was done, I was OUT!

Those tests burnt me out. Those eight hours of sitting there and having breaks in between were the worst. How can they do this to teens?!

But like I said. I did nothing. I didn't take a single thing seriously on that test. I basically just stared at the paper and occasionally fell asleep. Once the teacher would call the last ten minutes, I would guess on everything and put my head down.

I'm seriously screwed if my parents found out what I did. I know I'm not going to hear the end of it, even from the school. The teachers especially. The councilor! Oh god!

I'm dead if Yeosang and Hongjoong find out that I didn't try or did anything at all! I'm going to get my ass beat in more ways than one.

I really don't want Yeosang to be mad at me. Hongjoong is a given, it's Hongjoong.

Really realizing how screwed I am when I had waken up from my nap. I pulled Yeosang closer to me. I stared down at him and smiled. He really looked exhausted. That damn test really took it out of him.

Sitting up. I smiled when he cuddled up to me as much as he could. He whined as he moved around. He laid his head on my lap and curled up.

"No. Don't go." He whined as he fell back to sleep.

I patted his head. He really is so damn cute.

I know I fully decided to go abroad, I was so into it and now... Even with him just saying that to not even leaving the bed, how the hell is he going to react when I tell him I'm going abroad. That's only if I get accepted.

If I do, how will I tell him?

Running my fingers through his hair.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered.

Yeosang rolled over and looked up at me. He gave me a smile before he asked. "Why are you saying sorry for?"

"Just... I'm... Sorry."

He sat up. He rested against the wall next to me. He laid his head down my shoulder. He held my hand. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it right now."

"That's fine."

I leaned my head on his. Letting out a deep breath. "I just don't know what to do about a thing."

"Is this thing important?"

"Yeah. I guess so."

"If it's not important, there is no need to put so much energy into it. If it is important, then maybe you can find a simple solution and it will make you feel less anxious but is this thing a problem? Event?"

"Both."

He hummed. He thought for a bit. "Maybe if it's a event, are you looking forward to it? But you said it was a problem. Is it something that makes you upset?"

"Yes and no."

"Well, if you know it's coming and you know you will have a somewhat good experience, then what is the point of only thinking of the negatives?" I looked at him as he sat up and smiled at me. "I personally like to think of the positives. Negatives will be there because everything has a negative aspect to it."

I sighed. "You're right." I smiled at him. It made me feel a lot better talking to him. "Thanks."

He was a little taken back but he smiled anyway. "It's no problem." He gave me a kiss. When he pulled away he was suddenly kind of serious.

"Yeosang?"

"Why did you ask me if I was sure I wanted to go to Seoul University?"

I forgot I asked that. I can't tell him that I want him to go abroad with me... I technically can but I can't and won't. "I thought what if you just didn't get in?"

He pouted before he shrugged. "I don't know. I have never thought about that actually. I have always imagined myself getting in. Never failing because failing is for losers!" He huffed. He frowned. "Do you think I won't get in?"

"No. No. Of course not. I have always thought that you would. You've worked hard. Too hard actually."

"Seonghwa."

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to apply to Seoul University too?"

Why the fuck did he have to ask?! "No." I'm going to be honest about this and that's all.

"Oh. Ok." He turned away.

"Why?"

His cheeks turned pink. "I really want us to stay together through college but I had thought about it yesterday. If I get accepted to it, the chances of them accepting someone else from our school is extremely slim. So I became a bit anxious about us not being in college together.

I actually somewhat debated on not going to it."

I was not expecting that to come out of him. I mean yeah I get it when we 'hated' each other we never actually imagined the other being around the entire time.

"Seonghwa. Do you want to go to college together?" He picked at his nails.

"No."

He quickly looked up at me. "What?"

"Yeosang. I do want to go to college together but we just can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I really want to see you go to the college of your dreams. The school you have been working so hard to get into. I'm not going to get in your way. That's the reason I don't want to apply."

"You should have applied. What happened to us always being competitive no matter what?"

I really wanted to laugh but I couldn't. "Yeosang. I never cared about going to that school."

"What?"

I nodded. "The only reason I ever said I was going to apply was to annoy you. I wasn't actually going to apply to Seoul University."

He pouted. "You are so mean!" He grabbed a pillow and hit me with it.

I laughed.

I grabbed his wrists and took the pillow from him. "Yeosang. Go to that school. I'll be pissed if you don't." He nodded.

He let out a deep breath. He smiled as he hugged me. "I'm just going to really miss seeing you all the time during college."

I slowly wrapped my arms around him. I pulled him closer as much as I could. "Yeah. I'm going to miss seeing you too."