I am pissed off.
just as of two minutes ago (aka 22:46 because I like to keep my phone 24-hours nice) I was in the washroom waiting for my mum to stop using the other shower in hers. Then I started dancing and u took my hair down which was really poofy because of the humidity and I skipped over to her room and into her washroom to find her cleaning and such.
And then being the hormonal teenaged girl that I am I started singing to her about my ugly as fuck hair and being loud when she pointed out my lips saying, "your lips are really pink, you used my lipstick didn't you?"
And of course I was like no because that means blood is running through aka healthy lips and then my little sister came in and we started flaunting out pink lips and such and then my mum an I stared at the mirror and I was smiling really huge and she was staring like how mums always do (you know that judgemental stare like "wow u are my child okay")
And then she goes "you're breaking out" (and I wanted to point out I was on my monthly so of fucking course")
And then jokingly I went "but I'm still pretty" and laughed and she scoffed and she went "you're so over-confident"
And I pretended those words didn't offend me like what the fuck so I just laughed and tried not to start an argument on all that same shit and I walked out yelling "JUST confident, bish !!"
Honestly I AM SO SICK OF PEOPLE SAYING THAT. WHEN I SAY I AM BEAUTIFUL THE MINUTE THOSE WORDS REACH THEIR EARS I AM SEEN AS "VAIN. OVER CONFIDENT. ARROGANT. I LOVE MYSELF TOO MUCH."
You all already know how much of lowkey assholes my parents are (this is kodi aka previous rants lmao) and IT FUCKING SUCKS knowing that when I feel pretty I am a vain mother fucker trying to get above everyone's level.
You know what dear mother of mine? YOU need to get on MY level. FUCKING LOVE YOURSELF LIKE I LOVE ME. I COMPLIMENT MYSELF BECAUSE I LOVE THE WAY I LOOK. I TELL MYSELF I AM PRETTY CAUSE I AM FUCKING PRETTY. I AM NOT SHOVING IT IN YOUR FACE, I AM BELIEVING IT, AND I WILL EVERY SINGLE DAY. MAYBE YOU NEED TO START LOVING YOURSELF INSTEAD OF WEARING BIG SWEATERS AND TELLING MYSELF TO STOP SHOWING SKIN AND HIDING ALL THE TIME.
I know it takes time and people are self-conscious and insecure but it really is important to love yourself and to feel beautiful because we are all beautiful and there shouldn't be a need to bring people down back to where they shouldn't be.
DON'T DRAG ME DOWN BY TELLING ME I AM OVER-CONFIDENT; I AM NOT TRYING TO PULL MYSELF UP ON A HIGHER LEVEL, I AM ON THE PERFECT ONE WHERE EVERY OTHER HAPPIER PERSON IS, AND YOU ARE BELOW, NOT OPENING YOUR FUCKING EYES AND BEING INSECURE AND NOT REALIZING THAT YOUR BODY IS A FUCKING TEMPLE.
So dear lowkey asshole mother and other family members that have done this to me before: I say I am pretty and I make myself look pretty because I am pretty. EVERYONE is pretty, its just YOU telling you that you aren't because YOU don't believe it when you should. I'm not overconfident or vain or arrogant or selfish, I am kodi; and I am smart and I am brave and I am me. I am beautiful. And so are you. So when the hell are you going to let yourself see that like I have?
