okay so today I went out with my siblings to the mall and we went to Lush (the store obviously) and there was a worker who approached me bc I was looking
all I was looking for was a face mask and she asked me this question like "oh for what purpose?"
and I froze, because I do NOT do confrontation I legit cannot even stand up from my seat to throw something in the garbage because I'm afraid people will look and I hate that
((I want to get checked by those doctors that check your mental health and all but I'm afraid my mum will judge me so I don't say anything :--())
so I tried to play it off because I trying I really am trying to get rid of my (I don't like using the word anxiety okay) that blah blah thing so I was like "oh you know, just for fun purposes I guess haha just a daily woman's needs haha"
then I did the "I-dismissed-the-topic" laugh in hopes that we'd skip through a fucking simple ass question but she didn't really laugh she kind of took it as an answer and was like "ok" I legit almost broke down and cried because I was so embarrassed that I tried and failed and I'm so sad, because I have to learn how to face those things when I grow up and they are so damn simple but I can't do it I can't do it I am so sad and disappointed in myself
The rest of the day till now I thinking to myself "damn you kodi damn you you're so lame it's not that simple you idiot" and now I've been sad ever since and I got a moisturizer instead but hey I'm happy ish because it works well
someone please teach me how to get rid of this blah blah thing and to face it because I clearly can't :---((((
