𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐃'𝐄𝐓𝐑𝐄, childe

( OCHO. )

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(Y/N) GRUMBLED to herself, walking away as far as she could from the two men. As she crossed the bridge, she heard the river's calm melody as the waters ran through its path. Taking a few breaths in and out, she sat on the edge of the ground, gazing over the river below.

Now that she had recollected her thoughts, she realized that she shouldn't have stormed off so impatiently.

Since the moment she's escaped the Fatui, she had tried to bury the past she's left behind. To try and forgive a few people but never herself. The mere thought of forgiving herself felt like a sin. To let go of her past - to let go of the emotions she's been harboring.

And she had been doing good. Or that was what she thought. (Y/N) let out a shaky sigh as a thought entered her mind. She wasn't forgetting her past. She was wasn't burying anything at all. In fact, after all those years, she's never had real progress. Not once. She was merely distracted by the new life Ningguang had provided her. When she thought she had grown, she had merely swept everything under the rug - or turned a blind eye. As if it never existed in the first place. After all, that was the fastest route she could ever think of.

Her past was a part of her that she despised - a part that she regretted not burying earlier. Maybe if she did, guilt wouldn't have been eating her up every waking second of her life after thirteen years old.

And now, Childe was the prime reminder of the life she's led up until Ningguang had saved her.

"Hey! I..." A voice called out to her, panting. "I've finally found you..." He spoke before sitting next to her, "Just so you know, he started it but I'm going to apologize because I brought up my bow."

"Why now?" her words nearly came out as a whisper, her eyes locked on the movements of the water as strands of her hair covered her face from his view.

"Hm? I didn't quite catch that."

"Why did you have to come back now?" she turned her face towards him, "Now, of all times?"

"Are you saying I should have come sooner?"

She was taken aback, "N-No, that's not what I meant...! Why... did you even want to come back?" her voice lowered.

"I've told you before," he took her palms before bringing the back of her hand to his cheek, closing his eyes momentarily to feel her warmth, "as long as I am a part of your past, you'll never escape me. I'm forever indebted to you. And you're forever indebted to me."

Her eyes widened, lips going pale as she felt her whole body freeze at the moment. His gaze alone felt like it was eating her up. The pressure would be enough to crush her chest.

"You remember, don't you?" his voice was soft, yet his tone was laced with something more deadly.

How could she forget? Her gaze fell to the ground, shame eating her up enough to feel ashamed to even make eye contact with him.

"Stop running away."

You don't know how it feels.

"You're not doing better, (Y/N). You're doing nothing but distracting yourself."

"Please, just... stop." She tried to retract her arm, yet she felt too weak as he pulled it back to his body.

"You're scared, aren't you?" Childe placed his other palm to her chin, tilting it to force her into facing him. "It's fine. I'm here. I'll carry everything with you."

(Y/N) felt her body weaken under his touch, it was like everything she had tried so hard to forget was coming back through a single person alone. She even lacked the strength to resist or push him away. Why was she so pathetic now? So... weak? So vulnerable?