Somewhere Only We Know

XVI - Wants and Needs

After crying for probably two hours, I mustered the courage to get up. I was about to grab a tub of ice cream when I heard a knock at my front door.

"I'm really sorry, Kai," I called out, "I can't go out right now. Maybe we could reschedule for some other time?" I sighed, glancing at the tub on the counter, its lid creaking softly as I opened it.

Someone knocks again, and I can't help but sigh. "Kai, please," I say as I head over to the door, feeling a mix of curiosity and annoyance. I peek through the peephole, trying to see who's out there since they aren't saying anything.

I backed away, staring at the door. I looked around desperately for anything that could help me defend myself. Since I had already put away all potential objects for protection, I was left standing there with only a spoon.

"What do you want from me, Jackson? Seriously, how did you even figure out where I live? It's pretty unsettling," I said as I panickily tried to remember where I put my phone in case the situation somehow escalated.

"Max, I'm not here to hurt you," he said, his voice low and strained, as if each word carried the weight of his emotions, or just the weight of his bullshit."Please, I just want to talk. I need someone right now." Despite the muffled sound, I could sense an ache in his tone, a raw vulnerability that cut through the air, or, like I said, bullshit.

I let out a short laugh, shaking my head in disbelief. "Are you serious, Jackson? You have a whole group of friends around you. We haven't had a proper conversation in nearly four years. What makes you think I would want to speak with you now?"

"Max, come on. Lewis and James aren't my friends anymore. I really don't know what happened. It feels like they just used me or something. They only talked to me when I had money to throw around, and now that that's gone, they've disappeared. It's like our friendship only mattered when I could pay for stuff. Honestly, it hurts, and I just need you to get how messed up this is," he said, urgency and a little vulnerability in his voice.

"So, you really think I'm the best choice for a shoulder to cry on? Are you kidding me? I can't believe you'd even think that. Honestly, it's not my job to figure out how much you're hurting," I shot back, disbelief clear in my voice. It felt awkward between us, like there was this heavy tension in the air as I struggled to understand why he thought I could take on all his emotional baggage.

He let out a deep sigh, loud enough for me to catch it. "Look, I know I'm being unreasonable, expecting you to care about me after everything I've done, but seriously, you're the best friend I've ever had. I really messed up by letting you go," he said, pausing for a moment, trying to figure out his next words. "If you don't want me hanging around your apartment, that's fine. But can we at least go somewhere and talk it out?"

I let out a deep sigh and set the spoon down on the counter. I glanced at the half-empty pint of ice cream, the tempting sweetness almost calling me back. After pausing for a moment, I decided to put the lid back on and slid the container into the fridge. "Fine, give me a second," I said, trying to gather my thoughts.

"Okay, thanks, Max," he said, his voice fading as I dragged myself down the hallway to my room. I felt a wave of annoyance wash over me. With a loud sigh, I pushed the door to my room open, facing the familiar mess of clothes and random stuff lying around. Getting dressed was the last thing I wanted to do, but it was time to deal with whatever the day had in store.

I quickly threw on a random hoodie hanging on my doorknob, but as I did, I noticed a small rip on the hood that I hadn't seen before. It was getting old, and the sleeves were starting to fray, too. I grabbed my phone from the table, and of course, it had a noticeable crack across the screen. Plus, it only had 49% battery left—great. Finally, I reached for my wallet, which was falling apart at the seams and had that typical worn leather look. All these little imperfections were hard to ignore, but honestly, who cares what Jackson thinks about my messy life? I shrugged it off, grabbed my keys, and headed out the door, ready to hit the road or hit Jackson. We'll see.