Love me in the Shadows of Our Memories (🇬🇧)

Chapter 27 - One Step at a Time

The path ahead of you appears long and endless.

Almost as if it were an insurmountable hurdle.

But remember, the first step is the beginning.

And all the ones that follow 

- no matter how small - 

will lead you to your destination

Alec

Alec's gaze remained fixed on the bedroom door, as it closed behind Magnus with a soft click. He felt a knot of worry tightening in his chest. Magnus had assured him that everything was fine and that he was doing well, and Alec wanted desperately to believe his words—and he did. Yet, he couldn't entirely shake off a feeling of unease.

Alec bit his lip, grappling with conflicting emotions. Deep down, he knew Magnus wasn't lying about his well-being. He trusted the omega to communicate honestly with him regarding his comfort levels towards physical closeness. Yet, Alec suspected that Magnus wasn't fully aware of the extent to which Nate's abuse was affecting him. There had been enough subtle hints last night and this morning to indicate it.

Running a hand over his face, Alec was torn between his concern for Magnus and the desire not to pressure him too much. He knew Magnus tended to sweep things under the rug until they reached a breaking point. Alec recalled situations from the past where Magnus often hid behind a happy facade, pretending to everyone that he was fine. It was a facade he cleverly erected frequently to conceal his true needs. These same signs were showing again, and Alec feared that Magnus was trying to suppress his traumatic experiences.

Alec wasn't an expert on trauma or similar matters, but he couldn't imagine that ignoring and not talking about what happened was healthy or helpful in the long run.

But what should he do? How should he behave towards Magnus? He was afraid of making mistakes that would only distress Magnus and perhaps trigger things he had experienced. He wanted to be there for him and support him. But how?

Alec got up from the bed and decided to take a shower first. He trudged into the adjacent bathroom, turned on the water, and stepped under the stream, letting the warmth envelop him.

Thoughts and questions continued to tumble through his mind, still searching for a solution. Perhaps it might be better to wait until Magnus approached him first and started talking. But what would he do if Magnus never took that step?

Luckily, they had a trained psychotherapist in New York who had completed her studies before the world had changed and had gathered enough experience in the last twenty years. Alec was sure she could help Magnus.

He would suggest to Magnus to talk to her. He knew he had to approach it gently, and his suggestion would most likely be initially met with rejection. But he had to do it. He simply cared too much about Magnus to just stand by and watch the omega suffer. And he was suffering, even if did hide it skilfully. The nightmares and his panic attacks were evidence enough of that.

Alec finished his morning routine and went to the living area, where he found Magnus. The omega was setting two plates on the table. The smell of cinnamon and sugar lingered in the air, making Alec's mouth water. It smelled good.

Alec stood by the door, watching Magnus conjure breakfast onto the table with practised movements. Magnus still wore his hoodie, which was a size or two too big for him. The sight brought a smile to Alec's lips, and his wolf made him puff his chest out a little more. My omega, he thought, and a soft, proud, almost possessive growl vibrated in his throat.

Magnus paused whatever he was about to do next and turned his head towards Alec's direction. Alec was relieved to see no fear or any other negative emotion reflected on the omega's face. No, there was something else in his eyes. A look that clearly showed Alec that Magnus felt the same way he did.