The Unloved Wife

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 6

My gown was removed so was my undergarments. In no time I was bare in front his eyes. I couldn't look into his eyes and lowered my eyes, clenched the bedsheets. My heart was racing. It happened so quickly. I became very anxious.

He turned me around and made me lie down on the bed. I was lying on my stomach, side of my face dipped in the soft pillow.

He moved back. I couldn't see what was he doing. After a few seconds, I felt his hand moving on my core. I shuddered when his fingers made contact. I closed my eyes, feeling unknown sensations in my body.

He took me from behind. The moment he entered inside me I felt as if my lower half was riped apart. It was extremely uncomfortable.

"Pl-Please be gentle" I muffled in extreme distress.

"Relax your body" He muttered.

I couldn't see his face and nor he could see mine. It was wired to be in that position where we couldn't see each other. I wasn't understanding what was he trying to do.

He didn't even kiss me. I had heard much different things from other married woman and what happening with me was totally different.

I wasn't expecting him to behave like that. He should be gentle with me as it was our first time. I was hurt badly both emotionally and physically on the very first day of my marriage.

He moved out of me instantly after he was done. I saw him picking the tissue box from the side table. He cleaned himself and laid beside me. He not even once looked at me.

He was fully clothed and I was lying there naked and used. He didn't care about me. He didn't cover me, ask me about pain.

I felt as if I was robbed.

He turned his face to the other side. I kept lying there with tears in my eyes. I couldn't believe he behaved so distantly.

I blinked my teary eyes only to realize that I wasn't a newly wedded bride. Two years had passed since that night but what remained same was distance between us.

We weren't like other married couples. I never had a friendly relationship with him. He never let me have one with him. He always remained at a distance from me.

It took him many days after our marriage to finally kiss me even though he had already taken me numerous times. I could never share such intimate details of my relationship with anyone so I never got answer that is it normal?

In my heart, I knew all the answers.

I washed the last plate and arranged all the utensils in the cabinet after cleaning them with a dry cloth.

I washed my hands and walked out of the kitchen. In the TV lounge, he was busy watching a movie. He was engrossed in the movie completely.

"You want to have coffee?" I asked him. Sometimes he used to have coffee in the night. It never affected his sleep pattern unlike me.

"No" He glanced at me.

I switched off the lights of kitchen and walked into the bedroom. I had already fulfilled his needs, so now I had all time for myself.

I took a shower and change into modest clothing. I prayed my Isha prayer and remained seated at the prayer mat after making dua. I let my tears rolled down my cheeks. I started crying miserably in front of him who loved me more than anyone. He knew about my miseries.

I asked him to make my life easier and happy.

After praying, I laid down at my side of the bed. I closed my eyes and in a matter of no time, I moved into another world, a happy world.

The world which wasn't harsh to me. Where my man wasn't mean to me. I was loved and wanted there.

"You work so much all day. Let me take care of you" I let myself lost in the imaginary world where my man was taking care of me.

I imagined him taking care of me. He was massaging my tired muscles, whispering lovely things in my ear. It made me happy even when I knew it was a lie.

I had found a little comfort and happiness in this way but at the expense of tears that my pillow soaked every night.

I fell asleep thinking about the unreal world where I wasn't the unloved wife.