Faded

ii

Always watching from the outside. 

I should be more confident, I tell myself.

But they probably won't like me.

Or they won’t hear,

Or they won’t want to listen. 

Who cares about me? 

So I say nothing,

Because its better than looking like a fool. 

I’ve done that before.

And it hurts. 

So I’ve become shy.

And really, you only talk to pretty girls. 

Or people that have the guts to talk to you. 

I don’t. 

So I stay quiet.

Ever since Lauren and I moved schools, 

We have seen you everywhere.

Mainly me. 

Whilst Lauren was busy making new friends, I was watching you-

In English,

Science,

Geography.

I don't mean to, of course.

I know what  people think of this boy, David.

He watches people, talks to himself, has a monobrow.

Everyone stays away from him.

But I can't help it, you intrigue me to an extent that I can't controll it.

I just see you.

You've said hello to Lauren

And smiled briefly at me but that's only because you're polite.

You're so loved by everyone,

For they swarm around you like bees to a hive

Or fish to food.

But I suppose it is understandable.

We all want to talk to beautiful people,

Don't we? 

 (found on the front of an old History essay, down the back of Chloe Mcmullan's bed)