Faded

xxviii

All the hatred and
Disputes from
Earlier in the year
Have calmed down
And me and Lauren
Are back to our usual routine
With our
Fully booked social life.

Will doesn't share
Many mutual friends
So he isn't invited to
All our gatherings.

Just like Lauren promised,
There was a barbecue
Round Charlie's house and
We saw you there.
We stayed away.
I liked it when it
Got darker and cooler
And the night
Sheltered us
With a starry ceiling
As a bonfire roared in the
Middle of the garden.

People were throwing
Things into the flames
And watching them burn,
The fire reflected
In their eyes,
Licking at their irises.
I sat on one of the
Benches around the
Fire and felt oddly calm.
Something was thrown,
Meant to land in the fire,
But instead it hit
Me
On the head.
As I rubbed the
Bruise I was sure
Was forming,
You came running over,
A smile on your face.
Sorry, that wasn't me. But it was my shoe so thanks.

I heard someone behind you shout
That my big head got in the way.
You ignored them and
Sat down
On my bench.
I took my shoes off because I don't like wearing shoes. But of course someone thought it would be funny to throw them in the fire. So thanks, even if it was an accident. You don't have a big head, they're just joking. It was just a combination of bad aim and good luck that you were sitting there.

You're smiling again as you tie up your shoe.
If you want the truth,
I just wanted to kiss you right there and
Then.
Just, take the
Plunge and
See what it would be like.
Because you looked so happy and
Even though
You smelt a little like
Weed,
Your eyes were
Still alert and
Were full of
Fire and stars.

Another smile
And you
Were swallowed
By the throngs of
People.
I looked at the crackling fire, then
Across where Lauren
Was making out
With someone's brother
And then back at the fire and
Thought of you.

(Found under a bush in front of the Mcmullen's home)