Faded

xliv

I hoped

We would 

Stay like 

Yesterday evening

Forever.

I hoped eternity would wrap

A blanket around

Our shoulders as

We sat by the fire

And watched it burn.

Earlier, the sailing was hard.

It was a bad day where

I just kept hitting my head

And falling in.

I found I didn't

Enjoy it

As much as usual.

Maybe it was my thoughts on

Will that were distracting me.

Lauren said I did the right thing:

That must count for something.

But I didn't want to lose him

For good.

So Lauren and I 

Went up

To him and told

Him the truth.

And in the end

He forgave us

For whatever he

Was angry at us for.

After sailing today, Will, Lauren and I

Went back to the Kaffee House

And we devised a plan.

As the sun dipped behind the horizon,

We approached the tied up boats

And with rucksacks full of supplies

On our backs

We cast off.

We knew we would get in trouble but

We didn't care.

We sailed over to the main Island

We christened Moorhen Island

And set up a small camp

Like in Swallows and Amazons

The night cast shadows and we were set.

There was food and

Drink and in our sleeping bags

We sat around the fire

Blissful and content.

Then out of the blue

We heard footsteps.

Possibilities flash through my mind

Murderers, our instructor, ghosts, fishermen,

But it was only

You.

We sat and stared for a very long time.

And in the end

You just settled down 

Next to me

And looked into the fire.

Eventually you talked about

How you had seen us at the

Kaffee House

And you wanted to know,

What we were doing.

And you wanted to amend

Your relationship with

Lauren.

Lauren said she forgave you

For whatever you did wrong

And you seemed to be happy with that.

After a while,

We started to talk about Oscar River

Again.

And we didn't mean to but

Lauren and I started to tell the

Truth.

Then we stopped ourselves.

No one can know

For it is too deeply

Buried within us.

And as I write this

I am watching you sleep softly.

You have long eyelashes

And you smile

In your sleep.

The sun is rising, higher and

Higher and 

You seem to be glowing

At my feet,

In your sleeping bag.

I know you fit in

With the wrong crowd but

I think you fit in with us

Too.

I wonder if you ever think about me

The way I 

Think about you.

I wonder if you dream

About me

Too.

The colours of the morning sky are

Fading again.

They remind me

That I am supposed to 

Be 

Brave.

(Found in the reeds at Moorhen Island)