Faded

lxii

Well, here it is:

Everything Lauren couldn't tell you.

She shouldn't have to

But I don't think she

Could, even

If she wanted to.

But I think now,

You deserve to know.

Lauren

Was happy 

When she was younger.

I was her best friend 

Even then, so 

I should know.

I remember all the times

We played dress-up

And made cakes and

Went on weekends away together

With our families.

Lauren also had a 

Brother. 

He was six years older than

Us but he was

Overflowing with charisma

And confidence, just like his sister.

I saw him as a brother too,

Just like Lauren was my sister.

Being an only child can

Get lonely.

So, I suppose what happened

Next was all my fault.

And to this day,

The guilt lies heavily on my shoulders.

When Lauren's brother was seventeen,

He had a house party and invited

Lots of people.

Lauren invited me round

To keep her company,

But we only planned to

Stay in her room and watch films.

We were ten but

We had inklings of what

Wild parties were like.

And we could hear the music

And smell the alcohol

Even from upstairs.

A drunk couple,

Who were very much into each other

Pushed open the door at one point

And Lauren went over and

Kicked them out.

I won't lie,

I was a little scared. 

And although Lauren didn't show it,

I'm sure she was a little too.

So, we went to find her brother

To see when the party was going to

Finish and whether

He could tell people not to barge into our rooms.

We did not expect

The mass of teenagers that