Faded

xxxii

Will is

A boy of

Certainty.

He knows

Where he wants to

Go, what he

Wants to do,

His goals.

Why should I be the

One to restrain

Him

And when

He is

So sure

And I am so full of doubt.

I don't want to

Be the rain

That falls on him

As he's trying to

Walk up a mountain.

I don't want to slow him down and

Cling to him

Because I don't know

What to do.

When he kisses

Me, I fall

Into a trance.

All I can hear

Is the rain lashing

On the window.

Angry, forceful, constant.

It reminds

Me that I am

Not in love with

A boy who is so assured.

We are out of place,

We do not fit together:

Not like this.

You're confident too

But in a different way.

I think I prefer Will's confidence,

Quietly satisfied.

Yet, overall

I prefer you.

I'm just,

I suppose,

The rain

On the outside.

Looking in.

And no matter how

Many times

I bang on the

Window, no one

Will hear me.

They just accept that I

Am only a nussience to them.

I like the rain

Because

We have a lot

In common.

Sometimes, after

A fight,

I will go up into the

Loft where the rain is louder and

It drums out all other

Thoughts.

Or I will go to the park and

Let it kiss my

Scars better.

No one will walk past,

For they are

Deterred by the rain,

And if they do,

They can't tell that I'm crying.

(found half washed away by the rain in a gutter)