Little Doll

Chapter 60: Bonding

Alec

"Alec, if you continue to wash your hands so viciously, you're going to make your hands bleed" Clare laughed out as she disconnected one of the wires from the incubator.

"Germs pose a threat. And no threat will come near my baby girl" I muttered out, keeping quiet that I had showered with medical grade antibacterial soap this morning to ensure I was completely free from bacteria. I had even washed my already clean clothes on the highest heat possible.

"Are you ready to hold your daughter, Alec?".

Throwing the paper towel in the bin, I took small steps still uneasy at the thought. Compared to my hands, Lenora was tiny. 

"But, what if I accidentally pull a wire out?"

"Or what if she gets cold?"

"Or, or what if"-

"Or what if this is exactly what you both need. Babies, even little ones need human contact. And trust me, I'm very meticulous about my wires. No wires will even have a tiny bit of resistance. Now, take off your top" Clare smiled as she slipped on a pair of gloves.

"Pardon?" I frowned wondering why an earth I'd do such a thing. 

"No. Not like that. Besides young man, I'm old enough to be your mother. No, babies absolutely love skin to skin contact. It helps with bonding and gives babies an overwhelming feeling of love, security and"-

"Say no more" I interrupted her as I pulled my shirt off and sat down on the big armchair beside the incubator eager to hold my daughter. All the fears instantly disappeared the moment the nurse explained how important it was for my daughter. 

That's all my angel would experience in this life. 

Not touching a single item around me in case it had germs on it, I watched as the nurse opened up the incubator and muttered soft coos and words of encouragement to my daughter who was beginning to stir from a sleep. I felt a sharp pain in my heart as she started to cry. She may be small, but her lungs were strong. 

Fuck, she's not even 2 days old and I'm disturbing her sleep and making her cry. Fuck I hate myself.

"Oh, it's okay sweet girl, your daddy is here".

The nerves instantly returned as Clare got closer towards me with Lenora in her arms. 

Fuck, you could practically hold her with one hand. She looked even smaller when up close.

"Alec, you will pass out if you don't breathe" Clare chuckled.

Acknowledging her words, I let my body relax not realising I was holding in my breath frozen in anxiety at how I was going to hold my daughter without breaking her. I've never held something so precious.

Knowing I was going to be her protector for life, I held my head high and positioned my hands just like the being a first time dad books had shown me. 

Clare gave me a small smile as she stood before me, my baby girl still crying because I rudely woke her up from her nap. 

"You ready?" Clare smiled before giving me a reassuring nod to let me know everything was going to be fine. 

"More than ever" I replied knowing I was going to be the best dad to my little girl. 

Letting Clare do all the work to get Lenora in the right position, I felt my heart skip a beat as her cries began to quieten. Her entire bare body with a tiny nappy on her lower half rested on my bare chest. 

Looking up at Clare as she picked up the disposable camera she had to capture all the moments for me, I stared down at my little Lenora and smiled as her big blue eyes opened and stared up at me.