All I wanted

Chapter 10

The night felt eternal. I couldn't close a single eye and felt so empty. Having Raven with me all night helped, but my dad was the only family I had left. However, I realise that I have to be strong and that others have lost their families too. I try to block it out as much as I can and search the crashed ship with Clarke and a few others.

There are burnt ribs, arms and legs on the floor. It's horrible to look at. I search every single dead person, even though I know I won't find my father, but I want to understand what happened. Why did they crash?

"Stay sharp. Grounder retalation for the brige is coming. Just a matter of when." Even when I hear Bellamy speak, I don't look at him and continue to scan the ground. "You blame them?" "No, I blame you." "Maybe if you didn't bring guns-" Bellamy and Finn are arguing again and I'm so sick of it. We really have other problems right now.

"If we didn't bring guns, we all would've been killed." Raven's voice. "Why they're coming doesn't matter anymore. Its our job to be ready when they do. We're on our own now." While the three of them are still arguing, I see a pink liquid coming out of a tank. I approach to take a swig, but I immediately grimace.

"Lillya stop!" Raven immediately runs to me and looks at it. "Rocket fuel?" "Hydrazine. Highly unstable in its non-solid form. If this stuff meets fire, we're all pink mist." She carefully pokes a stone into the liquid. "Fire ine the hole!" Raven throws the stone into a small fire and it explodes. "We need to clear the area." Bellamy nods. "Okey, then. I e move in formation. No straggling. Weapons hot. We've got to get back before dark."

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Back at camp, they immediately tell Bellamy that Murphy is back, which makes him boil with rage. He immediately runs in and I follow him, not knowing if it will end well otherwise. "Where is he?!" As we stand in front of him, my breath stops for a moment. He's covered in blood and looks so messed up. "Everyone but Conner and Derek out. Now!"

"He claims he was with the Grounder." "We caught him trying to sneak back into camp." "I wasn't sneaking. I was running from the Grounders." Bellamy still seems furious. "Anyone sees Grounders?" They both shake their heads, whereupon Bellamy points the gun at him. "Well, in that case."

I immediately stand in front of him. "What the hell is wrong with you?" "We were clear what would happen if he returned!" Now that Finn is also standing in front of him, I kneel down to Murphy. "No, if he was with the Grounders, he knows things that can help." "Help us? We hanged him, banished him and now we're gonna kill him. Get the hell out if my way!"

My hands reach for Murphy's and I see that his fingernails have been ripped off. "Clarke." She looks at me and sits down next to me to look at the fingers. "He's not lying. His fingernails were torn off. They tortured him." I still hold his hand gently in mine and even though he's done terrible things, he doesn't deserve this.

"The Grounders know we're at war. What did you tell them about us?" "Everything." Murphy's voice sounds fucking broken and hurt. Clarke stands up again and I stay seated. "Once he's better, we find out what he knows, then he's out of here." "What if he refuses to leave? What do we do with him then?"  "Then we kill him."

Clarke and the others go outside and I find a cloth and wet it before sitting back down with Murphy and carefully cleaning his face and hands. He looks at me, totally confused, and to be honest I don't know why I'm doing this myself, but we can't lose any more lives. Not now. "Thank you." I give him a quick smile.

After I've finished, Murphy suddenly throws up blood. I'm just about to do something when Clarke comes in. "Lillya!" I look at her, confused, but quickly realise that she means my eyes, which are leaking blood. "What?" Clarke immediately comes next to us and looks at him. "Murphy, I need you to tell me exactly how you escaped from the Grounders." "I dont know. I woke up, and they forgot to lock my cage. There was no one there, so I took off." "They let you go." I look at Clarke and realise what's happened.