baby, I'll show you the world [muke af]

Milwaukee, Wisconsin (Wednesday, July 17th, 2019)

Milwaukee, Wisconsin (Wednesday, July 17th, 2019)

Ashton shakes his head fast from left to right again and again. He clutches his stomach as tears roll down his bloated red face. "I'm not okay, Cal, something is wrong." He choked on his words as he leaned over the toilet again, coughing up acid.

Calum was on his feet, his knees bent as he leant over his boyfriend once more. His face radiated confusion as he rubbed the older boy's back. "You need to calm down," he said between shaky breaths, "We can't figure out what's wrong unless you calm down. Take really deep breaths for me."

Ashton collapsed back against the bathtub, his head falling back. He moaned and groaned and clutched his body closer together.

"Do you think it's something you ate?" Calum flushed the toilet for him, it seemed to be their normal routine. He sat right next to Ashton, a secure around around him. He held the boy close, letting him lean onto his chest.

Ash was breaking out in a cold sweat, his lips turning blue and face losing color. "It's not something I fucking ate, Calum." Each word was short and cruel.

Calum didn't argue, he knew never to argue when Ashton (or anyone) was in this state. "Okay, can I leave you for a minute? I want to bring the girls to Luke and Mike, okay?" Cal knew what this was, he knew what this meant from the pregnancy books Ashton made him read. It was all the warning signs, and it was far too late for him to fix it. It wasn't one of those things where Cal could kiss him and make it better.

He stood up quickly, leaving a kiss to his partner's sweaty forehead. With a promise to be back, he was already gone.

Bella and Ivona were sat nicely and quietly on their shared hotel bed. The girls didn't want to leave, they were happy watching Spirit for the fifteenth time. Bella whined when her father turned it off. "Girls, I need to help Daddy, okay? Go hang out with the uncles for a bit, you can watch all the horse movies you want over there." He picked up his laptop and a few DVDs, throwing it in a nearby bag.

They followed him like sheep down the hall. A blonde, tired, shirtless boy answered the door. Without even being welcomed in, they ran past Luke with Cal's computer in hand, ready to continue their movie.

Bella hopped on the large bed next to a half-awake Michael. He was surprised at their sudden movements as they started to play the movie, the cold computer on his stomach.

The couple looked at each other with confused eyes before Luke turned back to Cal. "I don't mind watching the girls or anything, but could you give us some warning be—?"
"Ashton is having a miscarriage," Calum said quickly. He took a step back and sucked in his breath, not realizing how much that sentence hurt.

"Wait, what?" Luke closed the door more, keeping his foot just barely in to prevent him from being locked out.

"He's losing the baby," Calum repeated with tears in his eyes. He broke down at their doorstep, his lip bleeding from the constant biting as he tried to hold in his sobs. His chest was heaving as he had to admit it again.

"Cal, are you sure?"

The dark-haired boy nodded, not able to speak another word. He wiped his eyes, murmuring a quick, "I need to get back to him," before rushing back towards their room.

Luke was frozen, a hand over his mouth. He stared in the hallway for a decent amount of time, just staring at the wall in front of him. He couldn't began to fathom what the two were going through right now, and what they'd go through in the future months.

He went back into their room, back into the living room area where he was ironing their good clothes. His hands mindlessly wandered over the clothes, his eyes blurry as he couldn't really focus on anything.

Calum begged for Ashton to let him in, but the older boy refused. "I don't want you to see me like this," he cried out.

Cal was crying more, "It's okay, Ash. Please, just let me come in." He tried to door handle of their bathroom once more, not surprised when it didn't budge. He leant his head against the wood, begging for his boyfriend.

"I shouldn't have complained," Ashton wearily said. He collapsed onto the floor once more, curling himself into a ball and rubbing his empty stomach. "It's gone."

"I know, baby, it's okay." Cal turned around, looking at their bags laid behind him and trying to avoid all mirrors in the house. He didn't want to see his mess of a face. He dug through the girl's accessory bag, grabbing a bobby pin. He couldn't do the girls hair, but he could pick a lock.
Calum went back to the bathroom door, hating the sound of his crying lover on their bathroom floor. He began to pick the lock, falling on his knees to the cold ground the second the door opened.
His hands picked up Ashton, setting his weak body in his lap. He slid on his knees until he leant against the wall once more, cradling Ashton as he whispered his love for everything he is.

Their tears dripped onto each other as they didn't know what else to say.

"I didn't mean for this to happen," his coarse voice said.

Cal jutted out his lower lip, "Of course, Ashy. I know that, I would never blame you. It happens, okay?" He tried to make his voice strong, he tried to keep his persona strong for the fragile man. But, he, too, was weak. "We're gonna be okay, no matter what, we'll be okay." He let out a laugh through the ground-breaking tears. He felt so pathetic, and he didn't know how to react.

"Everything hurts."

Calum slid their bodies across the floor until his back hit the bathtub. Without dropping Ashton, he turned around to turn on the hot water spout. He plugged the drain, letting the heat rise through the room. "Everything is gonna hurt for a while, pumpkin. It won't one day."

Ash buried his sloped nose into Calum's chest, his eyes closed tightly as tears slowly fell down his high cheekbones.

"Can I help you in the bath? Baths make everyone feel better."

Ashton nodded, reaching up his arms as Cal began to help him take off his dirty clothes. He murmured compliments under his breath, reminding Ash how beautiful he truly is.

Cal helped him in the bath first, keeping him steady against the edge of the tub. He poured the girl's bubblegum scent Hello Kitty bubble bath into the warm water, hoping it'd make Ash smile.

It didn't.

Calum began stripping off his own clothes, making room for his body behind Ashton. He spread his legs on either side of the crying, sobbing boy as he brought him close to his chest. He wrapped his muscular arms around him, rocking him back and forth.

Ash listened to Calum's heartbeat, trying to count each pump to calm him down. He bit down on his lip as he squeaked out another sob. His lover shushed him softly, his rough hands rubbing up and down Ashton's arms.

"Why?"

Cal stayed quiet. He reached a hand up, wiping his eyes so Ashton wouldn't see him. "It happens. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I did!" He screeched, his voice emaciated.

Calum kissed the top of his forehead. The bubbles around the filled the bathroom with happy memories, but the one lurking pain stayed above their heads. He turned off the faucet, suddenly realizing how quiet their room was. "No one is blaming you but yourself. It's okay, Ashy, I promise you, it's okay."

"I can't even give you what you want anymore."

"I want you," Calum said. He pulled Ashton's body up, closer to him. He spun him around slowly until his back was pressed to Cal's chest. He rested his hands just above Ashton's hipbones, locking his long fingers together. "It happens, A, it's not your fault."

"Stop saying that."

"Not until you believe me."

The two stayed in the bath, their bodies weak as their skin turned wrinkly. Calum kissed his boyfriend's cheeks, his nose, his shoulder. Anything his lip could reach, he gladly touched with love and care.

(a/n) you all knew this was coming. props to you for guessing one of my character deaths. 

i posted a day early because i want to get this over with and start posting cute muke. after all, this is supposed to be muke af.