unrequited ➳ (connor jessup fanfic)

VI

"You didn't answer my question." I whisper. I wasn't sure why I whispering, but I chalked it up to not wanting to ruin the nonexistent moment.

"Nothings wrong." She says in that soft voice of hers. "At least not at the moment." She adds, whispering. She moved her head a little more into the pillow, causing her hair to fall in front of her face. I couldn't resist the urge to tuck the stands behind her ear.

She opened her eyes and looked directly in mine. In the moment, there wasn't anything wrong.

That was, until I leaned over and kissed her.

*

C O N N O R

She kissed back after a moment. Her lips were soft and they didn't taste as much like alcohol as I had anticipated. She had pulled me closer to her, deepening the already needy kiss.

Then she pushed me away. "Fuck, I'm sorry." She said, getting up from the bed. That was the first time I had ever heard her use such language. Yet, the foreign use of words rolled off her tongue with ease.

"I kissed you, you shouldn't apologize." I said, getting up as well. She had walked inside her closet. I had wondered if she knew I was still there when she had took off her dress without closing the curtain.

For some reason, I couldn't turn my head away from the soft dips and curves of her body. She was also wearing black lace, something I wouldn't peg a girl who never cursed and worked at a bookstore to be wearing.

Maybe it was because it was a special occasion.

I only realized that I was still staring when she turned around with sweat pants on but still topless. She raised an eyebrow and I could feel my face get warm and I walked out of her room completely and sat on the island in her kitchen.

A few minutes later, she came out with a black t-shirt on. She ran her fingers through her hair. "You should probably go, I'm sure Hannah is wondering where you are." She says and I sigh.

Even when drunk, she still knew her limits.

I stood up and walked over to her. "Do you want me to go?"

"Does it matter?" She counters with slight irritation.

I only grabbed her face and brought her lips to mine once again. I assumed she brushed her teeth since she tasted like mint. She broke away, I still wanted her naturally red lips on mine.

"We can't d-" I cut her off again by claiming her lips.

She was more intoxicating than any liquor ever created.

I could tell she wanted to break the kiss, but as I quickened my pace, her breath hitched. She tried pushing me off with her hands. When I didn't budge, she slowly gripped my shirt, pulling me closer. I moved my right hand to grip her waist and tangled my other in her hair that was impossibly soft. She cupped my face with both of her hands as our lips moved against one another's in perfect syncretization.

I gently back her up against the refrigerator and bite down on her bottom lip. She let out a soft, breathless moan into my mouth.

And she broke away yet again. "Connor we can't. We just- you're marrying Hannah in a few days." She says breathlessly, looking into my eyes. I didn't cut her off this time, I let her talk. "I'm not the one you want. I never will be." She says and her eyes water slightly.

"You should go." She says, her voice cracking.

It was the worst sight, seeing her upset and knowing I was the cause. It made me wonder if it was the first time she let tears fall down her cheeks because of me and it made my heart ache ten times more.

I felt conflicted after that and left without another word.

I always thought it was Hannah. I thought I loved Hannah and just cared about Noelle deeply. Maybe I was just shocked that a girl like Hannah would even be into a guy like me and was blinded by the physical and material stuff.

I had grown up with Noelle, she was there when I was the weird new kid and my mother welcomed her into our family with her arms wide open. She had even been to several of our annual family reunions, for fucks sake.

Her feelings towards me only became obvious when I proposed to Hannah seven months ago. I wasn't sure when she had developed them but when she started blushing when I looked at her, stuttering after I called her a harmless pet name, or when I'd catch her looking over at me every so often it just clicked.

At first, I didn't think much of it. I thought it was cute since she was like a sister to me, I thought it was an innocent crush.

She was just Noelle.

She was innocent but she wasn't a prude. She could be a sarcastic asshole but she was still the sweetest and most polite girl I knew. She was plain yet complex, it amazed me because there's no way to describe her. She was unpredictable, yet always selfless, and just Noelle.

After kissing her, my mind was all over the place. I wasn't sure why I did it, but I was kind of glad I did.

I was already in my car, literally around the corner from Hannah and I's apartment.

The car in front of me had swerved to the next lane and I wondered why until I saw another car stopped in the middle of the street.

But it was too late to stop or move over, I had already collided with the car.

-

a/n short, but necessary...

also might not do his POV again, idk I'm kinda happy where this went, though...

EDITED