Everything is Green

Chapter 30

You let out a long exhale of nothing but smoke. You place your much needed cigarette in your mouth and leave it between your teeth as you rest both arms on your knees, staring at the stack of papers in your hands. You're hiding underneath a tree outside of the hospital, only a short distance from the entrance. You didn't want anyone yelling at you for lighting up so close to a hospital for gods sake.

What did you just do? You think to yourself. You study the ink etched into the paper as if its not really there. Something you've been dreaming about for the past 6 months has finally come to fruition and you can't help feel a pit in your stomach as you realize it's all over.

You take your cigarette out of your mouth and hold it in your right hand, nestled between your index and middle finger. You take the recently signed divorce papers in that same hand, not realizing how close they are to the open flame. You bring them closer to your face, not taking your eyes off what used to be the blank space now filled with your exes name. You sigh out before sinking your forehead down into the stack of papers. For a few seconds, you close your eyes and allow your brain to shut completely off. The brisk breeze in the air, the birds chirping, and sound of the leaves swaying in the wind allows your nervous system a break from the madness. That is until you hear a distinct sizzle in your right ear.

"Ow fuck" you cry out, quickly opening your eyes and removing your hand from your face. You look down at your right hand and see the divorce papers are still intact, no damage. That is when you feel a deep sting on the right side of your forehead, right above your eyebrow.

Your calmness quickly turns to frustration as you swiftly throw your cigarette on the sidewalk and move to touch the new burn molting on your forehead. You hastily rest your head on the tree behind you, coming to terms with what a flustered mess you are right now. You hear leaves crunching and grass shifting, hoping its just another passer by. The footsteps get closer and closer until they stop within your vicinity. Instead of speaking or announcing their presence the owner of the steps decides to inhabit your same tree. You look to your left, then to your right, but you don't see anyone. Who ever it is, is sitting directly behind you; propping their back on the tree in an identical way that you are.

"You stink" you hear a familiar voice say. With those two words, your heart stops racing and returns to a rhythmic pattern you're comfortable with.

"I'm sorry" you say lowly, slightly embarrassed.

"Why didn't you tell me you were out here? I went back to the room to check on you and Audrey told me you left 20 minutes ago" Lizzie says, her tone remaining collected.

"I'm sorry again" you respond, not able to give an explanation at the moment.

"This tree is nice" Lizzie says, changing the subject, "what a shame it has such a stinky girl hiding underneath it"

You don't respond; instead, you rip up a hand full of grass beneath you and throw it behind you, hoping it would hit her on her side of the tree.

"And now the stinky girl is ruining the landscaping, someone should do something about this" she says in a joking tone.

You appreciate her effort to lighten the mood, after all, it is working. You let out a small giggle before responding.

"Come on superhero, do something" you finally speak.

"Superhero's don't work on Thursdays, its kind of a thing" she answers cheekily.

You both share a small laugh before the silence returns. It feels calm and warranted, given the circumstances. It's almost as if you both share a wavelength and know what the other needs, without saying a word. You both are sitting back-to-back, only being separated by a cylinder of bark between you. You can still feel her; you can't see her, you cant hear her, but you know shes there and that brings you a level of comfort you need.