"𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄" - 𝐊𝐓𝐇

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 - 1

22:36

𝑌/𝑛'𝑠 𝑃𝑂𝑉:

"Uh!" I hissed in pain as my father slapped me on my cheeks harshly. "I didn't do anything! Please trust me.." again another slap landed on my left cheek. "STOP LYING" my mother said. "I-im s-sorry.." I said while hiccuping. I'm apologizing even though it's not my fault. Everytime my brother does something wrong and everyone starts to blame me for no reason. Even they beats me for no fucking reason. Well nothing's new.

After that I went to my room and locked it from inside. I laid down on my bed and started crying silently, hugging a pillow as a source of comfort. "Why it's all happening to me?" I asked myself.

I have to cry everyday.. there's no day that I don't cry, whether it's at home or at school. Crying is an inescapable part of my daily routine. How can I be strong when my past is darker than the blackest hues?...

Suddenly a notification from a message beeped, causing me to grab my phone with trembling hands. When I saw the screen, I noticed it was a message from my one and only friend.. her name was "Ahn seol-ya."

Seol-ya ♡ :

"Hey? Why aren't you responding to my messages? Is something wrong? Are you okay?.."

Yes, she's my online friend. I don't have any friends in real life, she's the only one I have, I love and I trust.

(𝑨𝒉𝒏 𝑺𝒆𝒐𝒍-𝒚𝒂'𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐:)

(Age: 18
She lives in Busan and y/n lives in Seoul. They've been friends since they were 15 years old. Even though she's y/n's online friend, she feels like a real sister to her. She always supports her no matter what..and she knows y/n's dark past too.)

𝐴𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑌/𝑛'𝑠 𝑃𝑂𝑉:

I told her everything...while sobbing.. she comforted me as always.. after talking to her for almost 2hrs, I looked at the clock. It's 00:00 in the clock.

I sighed and laid down on my bed.. staring at the ceiling above me. I've insomnia that's why I can't sleep at night. Suddenly I remembered that MY SCHOOL AKA HELL STARTS FROM TOMORROW?!?!!!

"what the fuck no..." I muttered. "How can i survive from the hell? Please uh I don't wanna go there..." Yes I HATE SCHOOL.
Of course there's a reason behind it.

The people in my school always bullies me..for my looks, for the way I talk, for everything. Even they also beats me sometimes.. Suddenly... I remembered how they've insulted me..

"Tsk tsk I've never seen someone that much ugly like you."
"Are you mute? Why don't you talk?"
"what an ugly slut"
"Yo, how much for one night?"
"Oh wait, weren't you the girl who was 𝑟𝑎𝑝𝑒𝑑 by the badboy of the school?"
"I don't understand why he fucked you, I never knew his standard is that much low"

I screamed and covered my ears.. my body started to shaking asf.. Yes, I was raped when I was 17.
I ran to my bathroom and splashed water on my face, trying to calm down myself. "Why again...I wanted to forget everything.." I looked at the mirror and felt disgusted after seeing my reflection. Then I decided to take a late night shower..to calm myself.

I took off my clothes and turned on the shower. The warm water poured on me.. but still I felt...idk what emotion is this. Then I started rubbing myself so harshly..till my skin turned into red. "Why are you still alive.." I questioned myself.
I dug my nails into my skin. Until I see my own blood flowing through my skin. I started pulling my hairs out... crying.

'Crying, bleeding, spending the day' it was the circle of my life. Nothing was new.

Yeah I do self harm..A LOT.. literally everyday.
I wanted nothing but punishing myself.
I feel satisfied in a weird way while doing self harm..
I'm a psychopath, I guess.
But I knew that I was the reason behind every bad things.
Was i right or wrong? I don't know cause everyone blames me and says that IM THE PROBLEM.

Maybe....they're right?

I went out from the bathroom after doing self harm, now I laid down my bed again while staring at the ceiling.. the room was dark and silent. Just like my life.

I'm just wondering what'll happen to me tomorrow?
Will I survive?
Let's see.