"𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄" - 𝐊𝐓𝐇

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 - 10

𝖯𝗅𝖺𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄𝗀𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽: "4 𝗈'𝖼𝗅𝗈𝖼𝗄" , "𝗌𝗈𝖿𝗍𝖼𝗈𝗋𝖾" , "𝖽𝖾𝗃𝖺 𝗏𝗎" , "𝗋𝖾𝖿𝗅𝖾𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇" , "𝖻𝗅𝗎𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗀𝗋𝖾𝗒".

𝗬/𝗻'𝘀 𝗣𝗢𝗩:

After embarrassing myself successfully and having a dinner in a restaurant, we headed back to his place. He literally owns a luxurious castle.. we both entered in the mansion and all the maids and guards bowed and greeted him.

"This is your room" he said while pointing a room.

"Go and get fresh, come when I call you" he said and went to the opposite room of my room. Maybe it's his room?

I went to my room and decided to take a shower. After that, I was standing in the balcony and I was in deep thoughts, thinking that what's happening around me actually? Was it a good decision? To trusting 𝘩𝘪𝘮?

"This man is unpredictable and mysterious.. full of surprises..." I mumbled

"Indeed" I heard someone said in his deep voice and I flinched. I looked behind and saw its 𝘩𝘪𝘮?

"W-what are you d-doing here.. couldn't you knock the door before coming in?!"

"I did, but you were so lost in your thoughts that's why you didn't hear it"

Oh..

"So, you were thinking about me huh?" He asked

"It's not like that.. to be honest, you're so.. unpredictable and mysterious.. that's what I was thinking about"

"I'm.. mysterious and unpredictable? Well it's not a lie anyways"

I nodded slightly

"Tell me something about yourself" he said

Something about me ?.. what should I say?

"I..dont know" it's all I could say

"You don't know? You don't know anything about yourself?"

"I-I don't know myself. I don't know who am I. I just know that...I hate myself"

He looked at me, I can see something in his eyes.. they weren't emotionless as they looks like usually.. there was something called "emotions" in his eyes.

What magic did my three sentences do?

𝗧𝗮𝗲𝗵𝘆𝘂𝗻𝗴'𝘀 𝗣𝗢𝗩:

After she said this, I froze. I got the flashbacks of my past.. I used to feel this way too.. I got hurt so much that I was gonna do suicide too..

𝗳𝗹𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗳𝗶𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗴𝗼:

𝖯𝖺𝗂𝗇

𝗂𝗍𝗌 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗂 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅 𝗇𝗈𝗐.

Everything's so tiring. Right now I'm in a stage of my life that I feel like im disappointing everyone including me. I feel dead inside. But who understands me? NO FUCKING ONE.

I've to spend my tears literally everyday.

I get hurt so easily, I cry so easily, I cry so fucking much.

I can't just scream and say, "I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE" cause everyone's gonna misunderstand me.

Even now I feel suspicious if I feel happy for an hour because something bad is gonna happen for sure.

I was always here for 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 but who was here for me? Obviously no fucking one. I'm sacrificing my everything including my mental and physical health. But still im 'selfish' huh?

I'm alone again as always, nothing's new.

I can't explain how am I feeling, it hurts..

It hurts so much.

I can't explain but it kills me inside.

'Crying, hurting and cursing myself, still surviving' it's the cycle of my life.

I don't think I'll ever truly love myself, I'll never.. it's not my thing.

I feel so vulnerable, so weak, so lonely..

"Mens aren't supposed to be emotional like girls. Mens don't have any emotion." I muttered and threw the rope which I was gonna use to do 𝘴𝘶𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦.

"𝘔𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴." I mumbled and wiped my tears.

𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁:

After that day, I became completely a heartless person. I'm 29 now but I was only 14 that time, wasn't it too much for me to handle? Wasn't I too young for this?

I understood a thing that..

We were in the same boat called "Pain".

Even though if she didn't say much about it but I can understand her pain, I can 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 her emotions.

Even a heartless and emotionless guy like me started to feel emotions just because of 𝘩𝘦𝘳.

We were the victims but everyone said we were the villains.

We were innocent but..

They forced us to be the villain.

We're the main villain of everyone's life.

"Taehyung?" She whispered

"Oh yeah?!" I said after I flinched a bit as I was zoned out for a while.

"Where were you lost ?.. what happened?"

"It's nothing, don't worry about me"

A long silence between us....

She tried to lighten the mood that's why she asked me that, "tell me something about you, as I couldn't answer your question properly.. something about your childhood or something?"

My heartbeat became faster, it could explode anytime.

"Don't ask me anything about my past"

She frowned

"Ah okay.. I'm sorry"

"Mhm, ask me anything expect my past, okay?" I said to not make her feel bad

She thought sometime to ask me a question.

"Ah let's get to know each other, what's your favorite 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘳?"

Colour...

I guess I've to say the truth to her.

"I don't see any colour"

"Huh ?.."

"I'm a colourblind."