"𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄" - 𝐊𝐓𝐇

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 - 24

Playing in the background: "Dil ibadaat" , "Kabhi jo badal barse" , "Samjhawan" , "Chaale aana"  , "Husn".

Taehyung's POV:-

"Yeah, friends can be close. I guess." I said

I didn't want to say what was really on my mind:

"I wish you'd hold onto me like this because you feel more than just friendship for me.."

I silently cursed myself for letting my feelings get so out of hand. I was supposed to be your "friend," also I was 10 years older than her, I wasn't supposed to love her. But my heart had different plans, it seemed.

I watched as she slipped into a deep sleep, a bittersweet mixture of emotions coursing through me. Seeing her look so peaceful, so adorable while asleep made my heart ache. I wanted to pull her closer, to hold her tight, to confess how I truly felt. But I couldn't. Not when she had clearly defined me as a "friend." I swallowed my feelings, pushing them deep down, and closed my own eyes, willing myself to sleep as well

"Will I ever get the chance to tell how I feel about you?.." I thought in my mind

I glanced at her asleep beside me, the soft moonlight filtering through the curtains, casting shadows on her face. She looked so peaceful, so innocent. I ached to reach out, to touch her, to feel her warmth against mine

"What if the age gap is a problem? What if my Achromatopsia makes me unworthy of your love?.."

The questions echoed in my mind, a constant nagging doubt that I couldn't shake. My mind reeled with questions and insecurities. I knew the age gap was significant, that I was nearly a decade older than her. The age gap was a problem in many ways. She had her youth, her innocence, her whole life ahead of her. And me? well.. I felt old, tired, weary. I was ten years older than her, but I had lived a life that was so different from hers. I had seen things, done things, that she couldn't even imagine. It felt wrong, unnatural to feel this way about someone so much younger. And my Achromatopsia, my colorblindness, added an extra layer of complexity. I worried that it might make me unfit as a partner, that I wouldn't be able to give her the vibrant, colorful life she deserved.

I closed my eyes, trying to push away the unwelcome thoughts. But they persisted, swirling in my mind like a stormy sea. I couldn't help but wonder if the universe was playing a cruel joke on me? making me fall in love with someone I could never truly have..

How could I.. someone who had known the darker side of life, deserve the purity and brightness that she represented? At least.. I should've think that before but how can I control my stupid heart?..

I layed there, my heart was heavy with longing and uncertainty, silently praying that somehow, someway, she'd see past the age gap, past the color blindness, and see me for who i truly was:

A man hopelessly and madly in love with her..

Days turned into weeks, and the routine stayed the same. I trained her, pushing her to become stronger, more skilled in fighting and handling weapons, in boxing, in taekwondo. Overall I'm gonna rebuild her. But I tried my best to stay distant, to keep my emotions in check. It was painful for me, every moment spent with her feeling like a sweet torture. I wished I could just grab her and pour my heart out, revealing the depth of his feelings for her. But I held back, my lips were sealed shut, my heart aching in silence.

It was a normal day, I was giving her training of shooting with guns, she suddenly asked me that, "Taehyung? Why don't you talk much now?.." I paused in my training, surprised by her question. I hadn't realized she'd noticed my change in demeanor. I forced a smile, trying to appear casual,

"Oh, it's nothing." I said and I avoided eye contact, focusing instead on adjusting some of the weights nearby. But I could see the bittersweet smile on her face and it tugged at my heart. I wanted to reassure her, to tell her that it wasn't her fault that I was distant. But i just couldn't bring myself to be so vulnerable. I went back to the training routine, my mind was a tangle of conflicting emotions. I wanted to hold her close, to confess everything, but I was terrified of the consequences..

I watched as she shot the target board with precision. A flicker of pride passed over my face, but it was quickly extinguished by my inner conflict. I gave a small nod of approval,

"Good." I couldn't allow myself to praise her too much, not when I was trying to keep my feelings in check. "I'm quite an expert now.." she exclaimed and I nodded slowly, my eyes were avoiding hers. I knew she'd become a skilled fighter after weeks of intense training, yet I couldn't bring myself to praise her wholeheartedly. It made my heart ache, knowing how proud I should be of her progress, how much I wanted to express my admiration for her. Instead, I just mumbled a response, "Yeah... you are.."

"Well I learned everything you told me to learn, now what I have to do now?" She asked and I turned to face her fully, my expression becoming serious,

"Join my mafia team."

"Eh?"

"You have the skill, the strength. I want you on my team."

I took another step closer to her, my presence towering over her. For the first time in weeks, I wasn't trying to maintain a distance,

"You're perfect for it."

"Ah alright then"