my heart is heavy,
heavy like the weights i force myself to hold
in an attempt to appeal,
and to be hot.
it's heavy like
the growl of my stomach
and the hatred that comes with it
along with the heaviness of the
memories
of it being punched until
it stopped crying out.
i have a sensitive heart.
one that cries and stutters
when you poke and prod it.
a heart that holds all of the sorrow
of emotional videos of military men
coming home to their families
and mothers who've had their
little babies taken away from them,
because no matter how much they kick and scream
they can't get them back.
kicking and screaming isn't even a viable solution
but it's my only weapon
so i use it to its full potential because
i would rather harm than hurt.
