what would i do
if i didn't feel pretty anymore?
if the word lost all meaning
and i was called a
stupid fag
again,
because that word can never be used for men.
not me
a boy
because masculinity is law
and breaking the law
leads to persecution.
punishment is so cold and heartless
as he stares you in the face
all because you used mascara on your eyelashes
instead of hitting the gym for one more hour.
we're not supposed to be ugly or pretty
but manly and unflinching and unregulated.
because in this world there are no other laws
but the ones pressing us into the concrete
and the fear of god and his contents.
in this world, boyhood is
harassing girls and letting toxicity pinch us in the ribs.
otherwise
you're dumb and weak and a girl.
and that's horrible.
because loveliness is not okay,
and never will be okay.
