"Still nothing?" P' Mind asked, as soon as we met at home. My friends, Nam, Heng, Nam's girlfriend, P' Mind, and my sister, P' Faye decided to help me with taking care of baby Jisoo and finding her mommy. We have been taking turns in doing both.
Today, P' Faye was the one taking care of our little bundle of joy while the rest of us were out the whole day, but still, nothing.
I saw them look at one another and respond to the question with either a sigh or a shake of their head. They all look so exhausted and discouraged. We've been doing this for almost a month, but we can't give up, and even if they do get tired one day, I never will. I promised myself and our daughter that I will never stop until I get Rebecca Patricia Armstrong back, no matter what happens.
Everyone's mood lightened as soon as P' Faye emerged from the nursery with our beautiful princess who was already wearing her signature smile that she got from her mom. Day by day, she is looking more and more like the both of us, a perfect mix, I can say.
All of us stood up from the sofa to eagerly welcome the happy pill who started to giggle and kick her little feet upon seeing her favorite people gathered in our living room. P' Mind and Heng even fought each other as to who would get to carry Jisoo, but in the end, my baby seemed to have missed me, for she reached out for me happily.
Honestly, it's quite endearing how this little kid can be super clingy to me, wanting to have all of my attention, all the time. Just like someone I know.
"How was your day, guys? Any good news? You're just in time. Our princess just woke up, and fortunately, after I finished preparing our din--"
My sister didn't even get to finish speaking when my friends suddenly ran and raced each other to the dining room, leaving us.
We just looked at each other and laughed.
Hungry much? Lol.
We had a peaceful time eating and talking to each other, like everything is fine, just like the old times, only that one person is missing from the table.
Sigh.
A call from my phone caught the attention of everyone on the table.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Miss Freen." Khun Lux, the investigator I hired replied.
"Sorry for calling in late, but I found some lead about Miss Rebecca."
"Shit! Did you find her? Where is she? Is she safe?" I worriedly asked simultaneously, while everyone gathered around me looking with anticipantion.
"Actually, Ma'm. The thing is... I found the apartment she is renting and the places where she worked..."
"And? How about Becky? Is she there? Please, tell me." I begged.
"Unfortunately, I found out that she was fired from her jobs and was also kicked out from the apartment she was staying in the around the time period when you said she left your child in your care. Also, I think I know why she left your daughter in your care."
"Please, please, tell me everything you found out. Everything that happened to her since she left." I said, tears starting to stream from my eyes.
"According to the people I talked to, Ms. Becky rented the apartment and moved her things weeks before she actually stayed there. Which can lead us to conclude that she was expecting that she will be disowned and sent away by her parents. Upon arriving in her new home, she started looking for jobs, probably to support her needs and for her pregnancy. But because she didn't have a diploma and experience yet, she only landed a job as a waitress in a cafe and a dishwasher in a restaurant. Based on her neighbors, she also offered to bake them goods for extra income. She did this for months before she had an accident in the restaurant, which caused her to have a casarean birth and to prematurely deliver your baby. She was only 7 months pregnant when she gave birth. Because of this, the child had to stay in an incubator and observed all the time to make sure that no further complications is developed."
I looked at my poor Jisoo and hugged her even tighter after I heard this information. My poor child. She and her mother were in great danger and I didn't even know. I couldn't even help them.
"They said a friend of hers, a woman, then arrived and offered her help up to the time that both she and the baby got out of the hospital."
My heart pounded upon hearing this. Who is it? Who helped her? Who hid her from me? I am sure as hell that I asked everyone close to her for help. Who lied to me?
"Did you happen to get the name of the person?"
"Her landlady said that the woman introduced herself as Irin."
"Irin." I said in disbelief. I trusted her the most. I thought she'll help me, because she's Becky's best friend, so why?
"After she gave birth, her friend left, and it seems like all her savings were mostly drained by their hospital bill, so a few months after the birth, she decided to go back to work. Everything was going well, as her bosses allowed her to bring her child to work, the baby was always behaved and getting along with everyone they meet. Sadly, your child got sick around a month before she left her with you. She was said to have weak lungs, being a premature baby, so she easily got pneumonia. They stayed in the hospital for a while, and Khun Armstrong struggled to pay for the hospital, their daily expenses, and their house rent, as she can't go to work, because she stayed in the hospital to take care of the baby. Soon, when the child got better, they went home, only to find out that she has been fired from both of her jobs for being AWOL and their landlord is already asking her to pack up, being months late with her rent. She was e eventually kicked out of the house, the day that she brought the baby to your house. Unfortunately, the day she left the apartment was the last piece of information I got. I'm sorry, Khun Freen. I'll call you again when I get another lead." Khun Lux finally ended.
"No. It's okay. Thank you for the information. You did a good job. Please, continue looking for her, no matter what happens. Good bye." I ended the call and kissed my daughter on her forehead before quietly handing her to Nam and locking myself in my room's bathroom.
There I let out my frustration to myself. I shouted and threw everything I saw inside the bathroom before punching the tiled wall until I bled. Sobbing uncontrollably. I tried to release all my feelings and the pain I felt upon hearing all the sufferings Becky and our child had to go through. Becky didn't deserve that. She was an heiress, the princess of her family and friends, we loved and treasured her since she was a child, she never had to lift a finger before, her entire life, because everything was handed out to her in a silver platter. Which is why hearing how she struggled to make money, even having 3 different jobs just to sustain herself and Jisoo breaks my heart.
I also weep for the fact that my baby had to go through so much as soon as she was born, being a premie. I can just imagine all that she had to endure. All she suffered. And I wasn't there. Had I not done everything that I did, none of that should have happened. They both shouldn'y have suffered. If only I had the balls to take responsibility for my actions, Jisoo should've been born normally, Becky wouldn't have to work and hide, we would've been living together as a happy family.
If only I can turn back time...
If only I can right all my wrongs...
But Freen knows that she can no longer dwell in the past. Becky is still out there probably suffering even more, being homeless and jobless at the moment. Every second counts. She has to make her move. She has to find Becky, as soon as possible.
