legacy

begin again (baylor's version)

waking up in fergal's bed feels like a fever dream. i could never have expected to ever feel the warmth of his body against mine ever again. when i opened my eyes, i felt his muscular arm wrapped around me and smiled to myself. that was when i caught a glimpse of my engagement ring and my heart sunk.

i'm suppose to be planning a wedding with colby. he was going to be my husband. he was going to adopt the kids. and in the last twelve hours, my entire life got flipped on his head. i wish i was able to just talk to colby. i was knocked from my thoughts when i heard soft cries coming from down the hall. i didn't even think of the kids not knowing where they're at. i gently removed fergal's arm from around my waist and snuck out of bed.

when i walked down the hall, i quickly identified the soft cries of kinsley. i walked into her room and saw her sitting on the bed sniffing. "hey kins." i said with a smile as i knocked softly on her door. "mommy!" she exclaimed as she ran towards me and hugged my waist.

"where are we mommy?" kinsley asked me as she looked up at me with tear filled eyes. i bent down to her level and gave her a soft smile. "it's our new home. i know your room is bare but we'll decorate it just like you want. addie and the babies are just down the hall. mommy has another surprise, wanna see it?" i asked kinsley. she wiped her face and took my hand. i guided her down the hall to the doorway of fergal and i's bedroom where fergal was still asleep.

"is that daddy?" kinsley asked as she looked up at me. "yeah, it is. do you wanna go wake him up?" i asked her. the biggest grin spread across her face as she shook her head. i gave her a gentle push before she took off full speed and jumped onto the bed. "daddy!" kinsley screamed as she hugged fergal's body. i saw his eyes open and a smile grew on his face as he pulled her into a hug.

"there's my baby girl! i've missed you!" fergal said as he placed a kiss on kinsley's cheek. i leaned against the door frame and smiled at the sight. i never thought i'd see this again. i remember kinsley being so upset that her daddy missed her birthday last year. i never thought he'd be here for another. now he's right in front of us and i never want him to leave my sight again.

"mommy why don't you come join us in bed?" fergal said as he motioned for me to come over. i ran into bed and was instantly tackled by kinsley and fergal. this is it. this is all i've ever wanted. but i can't live in this bliss forever. i have to face reality.

and the reality is that i need to hear colby out. i need to let him know where we are and that we are safe. he's probably freaking out wondering where we are. he calls me every morning and night when he's away and i just know he's going to know something is up.

"you know i have to talk to colby today." i said to fergal as i ran my hand through his hair. he sighed before grabbing my wrist and putting a small kiss on the back of my hand. "i know. can we just enjoy this for a little bit longer?" fergal asked. i gave him a nod and a small smile before settling back down in bed.

not much longer after that, the kids began to wake up. fergal went to start breakfast as i began to get everyone ready for the day. the kids are growing like tumbleweeds. kinsley is seven, adalyn is five, emilee is three, mason is almost three, and the twins just turned one a few months ago. it almost makes me want another one. almost.

once we got everyone settled down for breakfast, fergal and i snuck off to the kitchen. "i've missed this." fergal said as he wrapped his arms around my waist. i wrapped my arms around his neck and laid my head down on his chest. listening to his heartbeat was almost the most surreal part of this. he's real. he's alive. he's got a beating heart and a pulse.

"me too." i said. that's when i felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. i haven't even looked at it since last night. it seemed to break me out of whatever bliss this is. i pulled it from my pocket to see colby's name written across it. my heart sank knowing what was about to come.

"go answer it. i'll check on the kids." fergal said. before i could protest, he placed a kiss on the top of my head and walked into the dining room. i stepped into the hallway, took a deep breath, and hit the answer button. "hello?" i asked as i put the phone to my ear.

"pam! w-where are you guys? please don't tell me you left." i heard colby sniffle through the phone. my heart sunk hearing him cry. i spent the last almost two years begging for fergal back and when he finally comes back...he takes me away from the one person who's loved me in his absence.

but what if what fergal said is true? what if he threatened to hurt the kids and i? what if i didn't truly know colby as well as i thought i did? "colby...we need to talk." i choked out while wiping my own tears away.

"no, don't do this to me, pam. please. i'll do better, i'll be better." colby begged me. i didn't think my heart could sink any farther than it already had. "did you blackmail fergal?" i asked. the line went silent. i couldn't hear colby sniffle anymore. and the silence was all i needed to know that it was the truth. "you knew he was alive the whole time i was crying in your arms for him. didn't you, colby?" i asked him.

"i'm sorry pam. i am so sorry. i didn't want to hurt you." colby said. i wiped my tears away before clearing my throat. "goodbye colby." i said before hanging my phone up. i can't cry over him. not when my dream family is in the next room. i'll always cherish the love he gave when i needed it. but beyond that, he will never, ever be apart of our lives again.

i walked into the dining room to see fergal cleaning up the dishes. the kids had run off to play, with the exception of the twins who sat in their high chairs. "how'd it go?" fergal asked as he picked up the plates.

"he admitted everything. and i told him goodbye." i said. fergal looked at me with a surprise expression. "what?" i asked him. "i just didn't think you would actually leave him for me." fergal said. i walked over to him, wrapped my arms around my neck, and pulled him into a kiss.

"i would kill to have you back. i love you more than life itself. i dreamed of being able to kiss your lips for the last two years. i'm never letting you go again." i said before pulling him into another kiss. i think i'm gonna love this little life.