legacy

cough syrup

"Can you place these balloons on that table over there?"

I directed Mercades before she walked over with another bouquet of pink balloons. It's Kinsley's 7th birthday today and it feels so unreal. How is my little girl seven? How is Adalyn going to be six next month? Life comes at you fast. I wouldn't say it was because we were having fun but maybe the grief made time run by faster. I just have to promise myself that I won't cry today. I can't cry at the though of Fergal not being here. I have to be strong for Kinsley today. Today of all days.

We're having a little get together today with a lot of my friends from wrestling. Kinsley considers them all her aunts and uncles so at least she'll have some people she knows and loves at her parties. She starts school in a few months which is...insane. Fergal should be here to see her grow up. Fergal should be here to see our little baby grow up. But the truth of the matter is that...he isn't. And I just hope he's watching her from above. I hope he's watching all of us.

I looked down at my wedding ring and engagement ring before quickly swiping them off my finger and shoving them in my pocket. Today is the day that Colby and I are finally going to tell everyone that we're a couple. I guess I have to learn that I can't wear my rings anymore. I know Colby doesn't mind but I guess it's just a respect thing. I don't want him to see me lingering on my past relationship, even if I am.

"There. Everything is set up."

Mercades said as her, Ashley, and Becky walked over to me.

"Thanks for helping guys. It's just a hard day without Fergal here."

I sniffled.

"Well we're here. And we're going to make it the best day ever."

Ashley said as I smiled.

"Hey, where's your rings?"

Becky asked. I looked down at my hands as I sighed.

"I'm not wearing them anymore."

I said.

"What?!"

All of them exclaimed at the same time.

"I'm actually...seeing someone."

I said to the girls as they all looked at me in shock. That's when I heard a knock at the front door.

"And that's him now."

I said as I walked to the door. I opened the door and smiled as I saw Colby at the door with a huge bouquet of flowers in one hand and a bunch of presents in the other.

"Let me help you."

I said with a laugh as I grabbed the presents and sat them down at a nearby table.

"These are for you, beautiful."

Colby said as he handed me the flowers.

"Thank you. I love them."

I said as I admired the red roses.

"I knew you would. I remembered how you always loved to stop and literally smell the roses when we were on the road. Fergal always teased you about it but I thought it was cute."

Colby said as I laughed.

"So, um, the girls are here. So we should probably tell them."

"Yeah."

Colby said as I grabbed his hand. I led him into the party room, one hand intertwined with his and the other holding the bouquet, as I heard all the girls gasp as they looked at us.

"You're seeing...Colby?!"

Mercades asked.

"Um...yeah."

"How did this even happen?!"

Ashley asked me.

"We just...we kissed one night on the road and we just started spending a lot of time together.  We're happy in each other's company. I hope you guys can accept that."

I said. That's when Becky stormed out of the room.

"Becks please!"

I said as I grabbed her arm before she could fully leave the room.

"Why the fuck would I want to stick around for this? Not only are you dating my ex, you're betraying Fergal. He wouldn't have wanted this and you know it. But you don't care about other people's feelings. You never have! You are just a fucking whore who never deserved to carry the Devitt last name. You're tarnishing Fergal's legacy and I can't say I'm surprised. Make sure to keep your legs shut on this one."

Becky said before storming out of the house. Tears fell down my face as my whole body started to shake. Colby kept trying to calm down but there was no use. She's right. I'm betraying Fergal. Maybe this was my sign I was looking for. Maybe this rant was the sign from Fergal. Maybe I am just a whore. I just wanted to be happy for once since Fergal passed. Is that really so much to ask?