legacy

lucky people

"mommy, where are you going?" i heard kinsley ask me as i smoothed out my dress. fergal called late last night and asked if he could take me out to dinner to talk about everything. i was genuinely surprised he even called and said anything besides asking how the kids are. so of course i accepted.

"mommy is going to go see daddy for a bit. are you going to be good for aunt becks?" i asked her as i bent down to her level. i can't believe she's about to be eight already. it feels like yesterday fergal and i were fighting over him finding out she was born. i hope we don't go through that again with this baby.

"can i go with? i miss daddy." kinsley asked. my heart shattered hearing the sadness in her voice. "i'm sorry it's a grown-up dinner but if everything goes okay maybe daddy will come home!" i said with a smile. kinsley nodded before running out of the room. i stood back up and looked at myself in the mirror. these last seven years truly have drained the life out of me.

don't get me wrong, i don't regret having or taking in any of the kids. but i look like a completely different person then when i met fergal. is he going to still find me attractive? he can go get any girl he wants, why would he choose me?

i heard a knock at the door and took a deep breath. why am i so nervous to see him? it's just fergal. my hands shouldn't be shaking like they are. my breath shouldn't be as shallowed as it is. it's only fergal.

i walked out of my bedroom and saw becky playing with the kids in the living room. she was more than happy to take the kids for the evening so fergal and i could have some space to work everything out. i'm so grateful for my horsewomen. they're always there when i need them most. now i just need the rest of my family back.

"hey." i said with a smile as i opened the door and saw fergal on the other side. i smiled as i watched fergal look me up and down. guess its been a minute since he saw me not in a pair of sweats. "hey. ready to go?" he asked me as he put his hand out for me to take. i nodded and i intertwined my hand with his, announced that we were leaving, and followed fergal out to his car.

the car ride to the restaurant was silent but peaceful. i felt fergal place his hand on my knee and i smiled to myself. it's the little things that bring me back to the happiness we once shared. i just hope we can share it again.

when we pulled up to the restaurant and i fully recognized it, i felt tears well up in my eyes. "is this-" "this place we had our first date?" fergal questioned as he looked over at me with a huge grin. "you remembered." i said as the tears finally spilled over to my cheeks. "how could i ever forget?" fergal said as he wiped the tears from my face.

after settling down at our table and placing our orders, i sat back in my seat and looked at fergal. truly looked at him. i have so much love for him. i would never do something to hurt him. and that's why i'm so angry with myself over these stupid messages.

i should've just told him. sure, colby would've released the video, but he did that anyways. at least i'd have fergal back. "you look amazing tonight." fergal said as he reached across the table and placed my hand in his. "thank you. i tried a bit. kinsley wanted to come with but i don't think this is the place for her." i said before taking a sip of my drink.

"that's what i wanted to talk about." fergal said. i took a deep breath as i prepared myself for impact. "just go ahead and say it. i can give you the ring back." i said, waiting to hear fergal confirm my fears. instead, he laughed at me.

"why are you laughing?" i asked him as i wiped away the tears that managed to escape my eyes. "because i don't want the ring back. i want you. i want you and the kids. i'm sorry i overreacted. i know you were just trying to protect us." fergal said. i felt my heart swell with love. "please come home." was the only thing i could manage to choke out.

"of course." fergal said with a smile. after our food arrived and we began eating, i felt a question creep into my mind. "so, where have you been staying?" i asked fergal before taking a bite of my sandwich. "with my mum. i didn't want to bother our friends." fergal said with a shrug.

"i'm proud of us." i said with a smile. "why?" fergal questioned. "because years ago we would've let this fight take over us. we would've never spoked, never co-parented. you would've been at some girl's house. does this mean we're officially an old married couple?" i joked as fergal laughed. "not until i get a wedding band on that finger of yours." fergal remarked.

after we finished eating, we decided to take a stroll through the park next to the restaurant. of course, we had to have security walking behind us. i hate that we have to hide from colby. it can never truly be just us. "i've missed this." i said as fergal intertwined his hand with mine.

"me too, love. me too." he said with a smile. we turned a corner in the park and all of a sudden i felt something hit me in the back of my knees, causing me to fall to the ground. "pam!" i heard fergal say before i heard the sound of metal connecting with his back. when i turned over, i saw colby standing over us.

"what the fuck?!" i screamed at him before he grabbed me by my hair and forced me to my feet. where the fuck is our security when you actually need them. "do you two think you're slick?! you think you're just going to ignore me?!" colby spat at fergal and i. i looked down to notice a lead pipe in his hand. guess that's his new weapon of choice.

"i swear to god i will fucking kill you if you lay a finger on her." fergal spat at him and he struggled to stand. "oh i wont lay a finger on her. not even a lead pipe." colby said as he threw the pipe to the ground. that's when he pulled a gun out of his back pocket and put it to my temple. "fergal." i whined out of fear.

colby is fucking insane. he would be the one to actually pull the trigger. and, once again, where the fuck is our security?! "don't touch her. don't touch my fucking kids. shoot me." fergal said. "what?!" i screamed as i tried to run towards him but colby's grip on my hair got stronger. "you know, that could work. title gets relinquished somehow. and then you can actually cry over his death, pamela." colby spat at me.

i just got fergal back. he can't leave me again. i won't survive grieving him all over again. i can't be a single mom again. "just do it. i love you pamela. i will always love you." fergal said to me. "no, no you can't do this!" i screamed as i tried to get out of colby's grip. that's when i saw him point the gun towards fergal.

"no!" i screamed one last time before colby let go of me and i fell to the ground. that's when i heard the gut wrenching sound.

bang! bang! bang!