legacy

and that's just tough love

i fiddled with the engagement ring on my finger as i stared at mercy's house. a part of me feels like i'm overreacting and maybe it is for the best. another part of me is filled with a rage that makes me see red. and there's only one true reason why.

i walked into mercy's house, courtesy of the key she gave me for emergencies, and heard her speaking with someone in the living room. "mercy?" i called as i slipped my jacket and shoes off at the door. "pam? what are you doing here?" she asked as she came around the corner and into the kitchen. upon seeing my best friend, i broke down into tears. "he wants me to sign that stupid prenup." i sobbed as mercedes wrapped me up into a hug.

"oh pam, it'll be alright. i'm sure he wasn't being malicious." mercedes said as she wiped my tears away. "i just can't be near him right now. i don't even wanna look at him." i sniffled as i moved away from her grasp. i walked into the living room and was greeted by the bright orange hair of only one girl.

"oh! becks! i'm sorry i didn't know you were here." i said with utter shock as i looked at my once close friend. i haven't seen her since everything happened with colby. i've missed her. "hey. it's okay. i've missed you pam." becky said as she stood up and hugged me. that's when the real tears started flowing down my face.

"fergal's trying to get me to sign a prenup." i sniffled into becky's shoulder. "what? he didn't even do that with vero." becky said. i picked my head up off her shoulder and shot her a puzzled look.

fergal knows one of my greatest fears for us is him looking at me like he looked at vero. it's one of my biggest fears for mason, to never think of me as his mom. it's my fear to turn into vero. and now that i know he didn't even spring this on her...i know he thinks lower of me then he did vero. my heart sunk as i looked up at mercedes; her face looked as puzzled as mine.

"do you guys think he loved her more than me?" i sniffled. "no, of course not pam. he loves you so much." becky said as she wiped the tears from my face. but mercedes...she was as quiet as a church mouse. that's not mercedes. i know she has something on her mind. "mercy?" i asked as my voice broke. she looked up at me and i knew exactly what she was thinking.

"i just...if it was my man and i don't know where he was for two years...i'd be questioning who he was with." mercedes said. i felt a lump jump into my throat as she said those words. "do you know something i don't?" i asked her.

mercedes looked down and sighed. "i mean, i was talking to jack-" "since when do you talk to eli's dad?" becky asked, interrupting probably the most important sentence ever. but also, when did she start talking to eli's dad? "...since we started dating?" mercedes said with a fake smile plastered on her face. becky and i looked at in each other in shock.

"anyways, this isn't about us. jack said that during that span of time...he ran into fergal in a few different cities. and he wasn't exactly alone." mercedes said as she stared at the ground. i exchanged looks with rebecca as i felt the tears threaten to fall down my cheeks. who am i kidding, they're always about to spill from my eyes.

"jack said that he was seeing some girl named marissa. they were together for a few months and something happen and fergal just disappeared. then he saw him with another girl in another city. he didn't even know who fergal was until he saw the pictures of all three of us with the kids." mercedes said.

i felt my stomach turn in a knot. this can't be real. he couldn't have been seeing other girls without me around. the fergal i know would never do that. but maybe those two years really changed him. maybe they really changed me. "i'm gonna be sick." i said as i ran towards mercades' bathroom and brought up all of my food from the day.

"it's okay pam. it'll all work itself out. it always does." mercedes said as she rubbed my back. i wiped my mouth as i sat back against the toilet. "i don't know if it will this time." i said.