Tribal

34

(WARNING! THIS CHAPTER WILL CONTAIN SESITIVE SUBJECTS SUCH AS MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION, SELF HARM, SUICUDE, ANXIETY INDUCED PANIC ATTACKS AND PTSD. AS WELL AS EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT! PROCEED AT YOUR OWN DESCRETION!)

Teleporting back to the Ze'mer's hut, Ghost sat down on the stone floor and laid Acacia on the bed.

"Ghost? What... What happened? What did you do?" Acacia asked.

"It's done Acacia, I've finally severed my connection to Shade and I'm a normal insect now." He answered.

"That's... That's wonderful! What all is different now?" She questioned.

"I can finally feel things, hot, cold, pain, pleasure. I can taste food, I can smell, I can experience true emotion and not just try to simulate what emotion is supposed to be like. I can finally do all the things that I've never been able to enjoy before." Ghost said.

"So what you're saying is, is that now you can actually experience everything? You know life isn't just pleasure and happiness. There are bad parts to it as well, pain, sadness, hatred. And there are extreme emotions that can ruin people, depression, anxiety, horrible things that many people don't live through." Acacia said.

"What do you mean?" Ghost asked.

"Well, there are many people who experience such sadness or anxiety that they do... Things... To themselves." Acacia said.

"Like what?" Ghost asked.

"Some people will... Hurt themselves... Or they will go to the extreme and... Take their own lives." Acacia said, Ghost was horrified by her words.

"Why would someone do that to themselves?" Ghost asked.

"Some people don't feel like they deserve life, or they feel like there is no one who cares enough for them to turn to. Some people do it to feel something, others do it because they can't stop feeling something, heartbreak, loss, death. You lose someone or something you care about and it can drive people into dark places. Harmful places." Acacia said.

"I... I never considered that there could be downsides to emotion, I've only ever felt emptiness. I've never felt anything, I always thought that nothing could be worse than that feeling." Ghost said.

"Sometimes feeling something is worse than feeling nothing. But it isn't just negatives, like you said, there are many wonderful things that you can experience. I apologize if I stressed you out." Acacia said.

"No... No I should know these things, death never meant anything to me when I was a vessel. If i were to receive a mortal wound, it just felt like I fell asleep and then I woke back up somewhere safer. But... I don't know what happens if I were to die now. I imagine there is no 'waking up' now is there?" Ghost asked.

"No... Some bugs believe in a life after death, a place that your mind and soul go, but your body stays here and decays. Others believe that once we die, that's it. There's nothing more afterwards. You just cease to exist." Acacia said.

"It sounds frightening. Dying for good, I've never considered what would happen if I were to die now that death means something to me." Ghost said.

"It can be a stressful thing to grasp. But I promise I'm here for you. Whatever you need." Acacia said.

"Thank you." Ghost responded.

"Anytime my love. Now, I actually had a question. What do we do now? I mean, it's likely that we will still be hunted, you cut the king's arm off for goodness sake. Where do we go?" Acacia asked.

Now that Ghost could actually feel emotion, the weight of what he had been doing this whole time hit him, all at once like a wave of doubt, anxiety, and fear.