Beautiful Goodbye

Chapter 1: Wake Up Call

There are just some relationships that no matter how much you try to fix it, patch it up, sew it in, it won't heal. You just wake up one day feeling like it's not working. It's not you and her against the world anymore. You get the feeling that it's time to let go.

But it will take time for you to accept that fact. You're happy, she's happy. You're not fighting, you still talk. So how come you're not working? But then you realise that the problem is you have stagnated---you're both have stopped growing. You are stuck in the relationship. The only reason you're still there because you're afraid to let go and you often ask what are you gonna do without her. You don't want to lose the sense of security of the years you've been together. If you start feeling that way then the more you need to say goodbye because you're in it for the wrong reason. You love her but you're not in love with her anymore. That's a big difference.

That's how I felt this morning when I woke up.

It was a sunny Saturday morning with the sun light peeking through our vast window panes. I'm lying in bed on my back, gazing at the ceiling above me. The sunny weather is no match with the uncertainty I feel inside me though. Automatically, I'm back to my sulky mood. I've never realised just how much I have been feeling this way. Could this be real? Or is this some five year itch that everybody says comes to relationships as long as ours?

I turned to my sides and gaze at her sleeping form. She's still sleeping beside me burdened by the heavy night last night. She usually wakes before me so this morning is very unusual with me waking up before her. It doesn't happen very much. I took this time to look at her. I look at her peaceful face and I can't help but smile.

She has always been beautiful. She has this long brown hair that flows beautifully down her back. For the five years we've been together, she has only cut her hair very short once claiming that she wants to try a new cut and because it was very warm outside. I prefer her with long hair but she looks pretty fine with the pixie cut too.

Then I look at her smooth iridescent skin. It's so smooth to touch, like baby's skin. It's always been my secret pleasure brushing my thumb across her face. Especially when her dimples show when she smiles. I swear it always makes my heart stop for a second.

Then she has this cute small nose that she crunches when she laughs too hard or when she tries to act cute and pouty. I never said it to her but when she does that, I can't help but fulfil her every demand.

I look at those pink lips that so soft to kiss. I don't know how soft lips could be until I kissed hers. Every time we kiss, I have to stop myself from biting it. She tastes mighty fine like cherries or strawberries  or even like heaven.

But my most favourite part of her face are those beautiful brown eyes. It does a lot to me. The first time I saw her, her eyes has captured me automatically. I don't even know how can some eyes do so much to my heart. One of my biggest regrets is seeing those beautiful eyes well up in tears and knowing I have caused it. Because of that, I always avoid having fights with her. I'm always the first to apologise and that's one of the reasons why she loves me.

She still looks beautiful after five years since I first saw her. And I can't help remember the first time we met at the park.

It was the 20th of January, my girlfriend at the time wanted me to meet her at the park. It was coincidentally my birthday that day. And I sacrificed a game with the boys to meet her. The truth is I was itching to break up with Melissa. I was never in love with her so it wasn't a problem losing her. We've only been together for three months. I'm not a jerk but when I know that a relationship is not working, it's better to quickly end it and go our separate ways. Maybe that's why I've had a lot of girlfriends already. My longest record was ten months.