Dispassionate

5

5) Letter from Giyuu

Tanjiro had gotten changed into a spare yakuta the man had. It didn't fit very well, but then again none of his clothes felt like they did.

He had been lying down on the cold wooden floor, messy red hair sprawled out of the floor while he started at the ceiling, while Sakonji had been patiently staring out the window.

His coal-like eyes strayed over to the fire in the center of the room he was trying to use to dry his hair. He wanted to jump into it. He wanted to burn himself alive. He was late coming home. He wanted to etch the burning pain his family felt in his skin forever. He's thought about this before. Too many times to count.

He was so close to it as well, he could just reach in. It's so easy, yet so complicated.

Urokodaki looked over to the boy who stared so intently at the blazing fire. He decided to sit next to him for the time being, and tend to the hearth. There goes Tanjiro's plan.

The boy looked up at him quietly. Why did he always wear that tengu mask? The question ate away at his mind every now and then, when he had nothing else to think about. Was it due to a scar?

Was he ugly? To hide his identity? Tanjiro couldn't think of that many possibilities. He hadn't known anyone who covered their face day and night. He was pretty sure he slept with this thing on.

It brought him back to the idea of a scar. He reached up to touch the burn on his forehead. An unwanted blemish he got from protecting a younger sibling. It was honestly worth it, he'd rather be burned than let Takeo take it.

It might've bled when the boiling water his head forehead. He doesn't remember it that well. He might have gotten brain damage from it, and definitely not the fall he had down that mountain.

Urokodaki looked down at him through the mask. He looked at the boys forehead, then at his hairline. He could almost see the scar he had on his head. It was basically invisible but if you looked close enough you could see the outline.

You could only assume where he got it. And Tanjiro could feel the man stare at it. He didn't say anything about it, and just pushed his hair in front of his face. The mess of it fell into his eyes and covered his vision.

"You might want to cut it soon." Tanjiro gave him a puzzled look under the overgrown bangs. "Your hair. It could get in the way at times." Tanjiro sat up, and brushed his fingers through the soft mess.

It reminded him of his father's. There's no way he'd cut it. He let the bangs fall back into his face as a way of saying no. The man sighed and went back to tending the fire.

A cawing noise caught his attention soon after. He looked over to the open window to see that Giyuu had responded. Tanjiro tilted his head in curiosity.

Urokodaki untied the letter from its claw so it could hop over to mess with Tanjiro, something it liked doing. Gently pulling his hair to pecking lightly at his fingernails.

It was cute in Sakonji's mind. He told Giyuu about it once, he said it was somewhat humorous. He looked away from the folded paper to the crow basically making a nest in the teenagers hair.

It took awhile to brush out, but Tanjiro didn't stop it from happening. The bird sat still in the nest it had just created, proud.

"Kanzaburo, I think it's time to let Tanjiro rest. Thank you." The crow cawed in response, before nodding its head. "Okay."

Tanjiro's eyes widened. He looked from the crow to his trainer, back and forth. "I don't think I should explain that." His trainer said before reading the letter sent. Tanjiro tried to peer over his shoulder but the man swag him away.

"Go to bed." Tanjiro groaned just loud enough to hear and left the room.

He slid the door open and took a step inside the dark room. The windows collected dust that he needed to clean up soon. He pulled a small pink ribbon out of his pocket.

"Goodnight.... Nezuko." He muttered before pushing back the blanket on the futon. He sat down on the soft fabric. He could still smell the coals from the fire out there. His trainer was a bit impatient when trying to get him in bed. What did Tomioka write to him?

It honestly peaked his curiosity, but he wasn't one to pry in people's personal business, at least not in this fanfic.

He wanted to listen to what the man would say in response, or if Kanzaburo would talk again, to assure he wasn't going insane. But he just sat in silence. He couldn't hear anything out there, so he laid down in the bed.

The rubbed the pink ribbon between his index finger and his thumb. He could tie his hair up with it. He sat back up and grabbed at his hair, attempting to put it into a bun or ponytail. It was honestly a mess but he was the best at putting his hair up anymore. It had never been this long.

He'll just have to try again. He untied it and put it back up. A bit neater. It would be a total mess in the morning though, so he doesn't really know why he's still trying. Maybe just to pass time. He wasn't really tired, even though his body was a bit sore. 

He would just stay awake until he felt tired. Maybe now would be a good time to finally open one of the windows in his temporary room. Fresh air might be nice, helpful. He reached for the window when the ribbon fell out of his hair.