If I was yours (bwam)

thirty three

Saul (First POV)

5 years ago

My brother has always been better than me, academics wise and sometimes in sports. Though i'm the one destined to take over our family's company he's much better suited for it. The only reason my father won't let him is because he's too caring just like my mother. and he thinks he'd be better as a doctor. I'm the only one who has the same personality as my father which is how he put it.

"Sungjae are you even listening to me?" My brother was looking at me while we walked around campus and talking my ear off. I had already checked out when he started talking about his anatomy class. That was all stuff I had no interest in.

"Not really what did you say?" I was being dragged around by him all day and my legs were killing me.

"I think i'm going to marry her...Gyuri I mean."

I immediately wrapped my arm around his shoulder.

"Well look at you. My older brother finally grew some balls." I pinched his cheek and he slapped my hand away.

"I really like her." He was blushing.

"I know you do, you've been crushing on her since middle school. I guess it was meant to be." I patted him on the back and began to walk away.

"Hey! Sungjae! Where are you going?"

"Your girlfriend is coming around the corner and i'm not third wheeling again today." I saluted him and Gyuri was already running up to him.

Another thing my brother was skilled in was love.

It sometimes sucks to be the twin that isn't as good, i've never been angry at Sungjin for it though, it's his duty to be better than me in every way because he's the older twin. Or at least that's what my father believes.

It's no doubt that Sungjin is his favorite child, other than Solana because she's the only girl.

It's still ridiculous to me that my parents agreed to letting Solana change her name. That just shows how much they favor her. She doesn't even respond when we call her Sol anymore.

I think a part of me resents those two, mostly my brother. Though I could never hate him there is still a part of me that's jealous of him.

He can do whatever he wants in life. He's not stuck with this company, he always gets the girls even though his sights are set on only one, and he's kinder than me.

We were even named the hot and cold twins growing up. Sungjin was always nice, he rarely got upset and was always one to help. Where I was always brooding, listening to music, ignoring everyone, and rarely ever smiling.

There were times when people walked up to me thinking I was my brother but they quickly realized I wasn't when I just stared at them and didn't say anything. The same warm smile he gave everyone wasn't something I could pull off easily.

The doctors said I have antisocial personality disorder and anxiety. They told me I can only build meaningful connections depending on the person and if I actually deemed them worthy, which is why I have no regard for strangers.

My parents moved us to the U.S with our Dual citizenship as soon as they found out about my disorder. They said people in the states understood me better. We would occasionally go back to Korea but I grew up in the US. My condition is way better then before though, I now had a friend and I could talk to people without coming off as rude if I really tried.