Clandestine

Chapter Thirty-two

Chapter Thirty-two

Sage

Grass crunches under my feet, the breeze brushing stay hairs across my face. It's a clear night, giving me a nice view of the stars and moon.

I spin in place a few times trying to understand how I got here.

At the other side of the field was a man and a young girl. They both were laying on their backs, pointing up at the stars above.

I walk closer getting ready to just ask them where I was but stop short.

The girl... The girl laying in the grass is...Me. 

My breath gets caught in my throat. This is a memory... I'm watching my memories.

I was so tiny, so innocent.

How...How am I seeing this?

My father smiles, pointing his finger towards the sky as he explains what constellation was above us.

I circle them, taking in every detail. My father looks so carefree and happy, a look I only saw when it was me and him outside like this.

Little me laughs at him, before pointing at the sky and asking him to explain another constellation. 

~~~

I'm standing in the living room of my fathers house now. I spin around and gasp, everything is how it was back then. The photos of my father are still hanging on the walls. The wooden coffee table laid before the couch covered with books and a cup of coffee. Besides the coffee was a pile of bills. Bills that haven't been paid in months by the look of it.

The front door opens and I turn to see my father walk in. Tears swell in my eyes, I never thought I would see him walk through that front door again. "I got the job!" Was my fathers first words.  My mother walks in the room next, and they kiss quickly. Normally I would look away, but seeing them together was healing for me. Something that I will never see again... My family.

"That's great honey!" Mom smiles back, her eyes twinkling with joy. 

To the side of the room, curled up on the couch with a book was... Me.

I never dared to look away from the pages, never even told my father congratulations.

"You heard sweetheart?" My father plopped down next to me. My small fingers closed the book I was reading and let out a sigh.

"I don't want you to work at this job, Daddy." Little me says.

My father leans back, his arm wrapping around my shoulder and dragged me closer.

What I would do to be in my body. To experience it for myself again. Be able hug my father again. I wanted to scream at myself. Put everything aside and just enjoy his company. 

I tried to get closer. But for some reason my nightmare seems to think I need to see everything from a far, creating an invisible shield so I can't touch him.

I've never had an out of body experience before, so standing before myself-

~~~

I'm outside again. I spin to take in my surroundings as two little girls rush past me.

"We should go in there." I hear one of the girls say. They both stood outside the tree line of Everlore forest. It takes me two seconds to realize the girls I'm looking at is Sam and me.