Seeing Through the Trauma

Contain and Control (44)

He wasn't sure how long he spent cocooned in Wukong's shaking arms, both grateful and scared of the hug in a juxtaposition that made him uncomfortable. 

He wanted Baba to hold him tighter and yet wanted to be alone so he couldn't hurt the people he loved at the same time. It made his heart hurt, tears still slipping down his cheeks as his breathing slowly evened out into something less likely to make him pass out. 

Wukong and Macaque held him throughout it all, Wukong clinging to him and moving them back and forth in a rocking motion while Macaque held them loosely, rubbing circles into MK's back. 

"I'm sorry," MK said again, ducking his head out of shame.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, kiddo. You didn't hurt anyone." Macaque said in response while Wukong just clutched him tighter, no noise escaping him. 

"But I- I could have-"

"You were just trying to protect Wukong. It's okay, kiddo. You did a good job. I know you're scared but nothing happened. Everyone's okay." Macaque told him but the silence from Wukong was heavy, and MK would have shook his head if he'd had room to do so. 

He didn't, so he just made a pathetic-sounding noise and held onto himself tighter, desperate not to hold either of them out of fear of hurting them.

Neither pushed him to get up faster so MK stayed where he was until his legs went numb and his breathing evened out. In fact Baba seemed to be holding him tighter if anything, like he didn't want to get up either and MK frowned, able to feel light trembles running through the sage's arms.       

Macaque must have too because when MK finally got the courage to open his eyes again the first thing he saw was his dad's worried gaze trained on Baba with a focused intensity. He didn't speak until he saw MK's eyes were open again, and his eyes widened which is when MK redirected his gaze to the ground, scared of hurting him on accident.

He squirmed a little in Baba's hold, slight pins and needles in his legs making him uncomfortable but Wukong didn't loosen his grip, if anything he held on tighter.  

"You okay, Wukong?" Macaque asked, tone curiously worried and Wukong winced, drawing back from MK with a flinch and planting a smile on his face that looked fake.

"Uh yeah, of course I am! I'm fine." He said, and now that he was free MK shuffled back, wrapping his arms over his chest and keeping his gaze on the ground.  

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am! Besides, we should be focusing on finding the Emperor's power and stuff right? Not uh- not whatever's going on with me. Which is nothing, of course! Cause I'm fine." Wukong rambled and MK could easily hear the faux calm in his voice. He sounded nervous and MK flicked his gaze up worriedly, wanting to help, before remembering how he'd almost hurt him and quickly ducking his head again.  

"...Right." Macaque wasn't convinced either but Wukong was already springing to his feet, brushing off his muddy knees from kneeling in the grass so long. 

"Yep, so- so now we just need to get Nezha back and- and find the-" 

"Wait we left Nezha?" MK snapped his head up at the news, immediately scanning around the area and realizing, yes, Nezha was missing. Horror drawled in his gut, guilt sitting like a stone that he swallowed down when he realized it was his fault they'd left Nezha behind. His dads had just been trying to get him to safety, and MK had ruined the whole plan. 

"Temporarily! We were kinda in a rush there but everything's fine-" Wukong's voice cracked and the other two's eyes widened at the sound, ears twisting to the unfamiliar noise in surprise. It was evidence that Wukong really wasn't okay, and when Macaque suddenly stiffened MK had the feeling he knew why.