c h a p t e r 31

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Happy reading!

Happy reading!

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SHIVANI'S POV

Maa is insisted me to come with her. She was going to meet my mother. I didn't want to go back there. But I didn't know how to refuse. I had no reasons to do that, at least not in the eyes of everyone here. I haven't told anything to anyone and I can't now. I had rather pretend to be okay than gain anyone's sympathy, especially this family's, because this is my family and I don't want them to pity me too.

I am sitting in the living room with maa waiting for my mother to arrive. I see her first, she's looking at us from her balcony, I see the hatred in her eyes, hatred for me, a shiver runs down my spine. She goes back I hear her footsteps as she comes down the staircase. It gives me goosebumps. How children are afraid of ghosts, I am afraid of this house, people here, my past. I clutch my kurti tightly. It's first time I am meeting her after Rudraksh bought all her shares, she's obviously mad at me. My mother and maa hug each other. She comes and hugs me tight, tight enough that it hurts. They sit on the couch, making small talks, here and there.  I feel uncomfortable.

"Can we keep shivani here tonight?" My mother asks. It's a nightmare, please someone wake me up. Before maa says anything I say, "No" They both look at me, maa surprised and my mothers staring at me dangerously, "I haven't informed Rudraksh, he won't like it." I add quickly. Maa laughs.

"You won't believe these two have been inseparable." She says, "it's okay Shivani, I will talk to him. He won't mind staying away from you for a day." She pats my thigh, I try to smile but I can't muster it. I nod. I rack my brain for any excuse, any reason that I could give to avoid staying here. But I can't think of anything that would sound believable. The rest of the conversation is a blur, my mind fixated on my own thoughts and worries. I feel like I'm being suffocated, unable to breathe. The walls of this house feel like they're closing in on me, trapping me in a nightmare I can't wake up from.
I want to call Rudra, beg him to not let me stay here but I can't.

"Shivani," I feel a little push, "shivani, beta are you okay?" Maa asks me. I nod, not able to utter a single word, I can see my mother smirk in my side view. "I was saying, I am going to go." She squeezes my hands and pats my head, I can feel a lump in my throat, I want to shout at her, plead her to take me with her. "You enjoy, okay?" She says and softly smiles. My mother walks with her towards the door. My head spirals. She's going to walk in here soon. I just want to make it out alive.

"Follow me." Her foot comes in my vision. I can't move. She moves forward but I am unable to move at all, "Move you bitch." She grabs my arm and pulls me up. A lone tear escapes my eyes. Why am I so weak. Why can't I fight her, I am an adult now. But I obey her without any word. She pulls me up to my room. The place that was my hell and heaven both, that kept me safe but broke me too.
She pushes me in the room, and I fall on the ground.

"You had sex? " She questions. I shake my head. "Of course you didn't. Rudraksh is a smart man after all. He wouldn't want to be near you." I want to shout at her, tell her that it isn't true, that he kisses me every chance he gets. He likes me. He likes me.

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