Heal my heart

c h a p t e r 51

Happy reading!

RUDRAKSH'S POV

I am sitting in the sterile, cold hospital room, the antiseptic smell thick in the air. Shivani is still unconscious on the bed, a bandage covering her stomach where the bullet wound is healing and machines hooked to her. I hate seeing her like this. The doctors have said the surgery went well, they successfully removed the bullet, but now it’s a waiting game. If she doesn’t wake up within the next 36 hours, they can't promise anything. It's already been 24 hours.

I feel numb, like I'm stuck in some sort of waking nightmare. She hasn’t even stirred a little bit. The only movement visible is her breathing, that still calms my nerves a little bit. Everyone is outside in the lobby, anxiously waiting, but I can't leave her side. Maa and Aarav are most affected, I never knew they grew so close to her, but I can't really blame them, she is very lovable.

I continue to hold her hand, my thumb tracing soothing patterns over her skin. The guilt is too much to bear, like a heavy weight on my shoulders.

"I failed you," I murmur, my voice thick with regret. "I promised to keep you safe, and I failed."

My gaze flutters over her face, taking in every detail.

"You always said I deserve better," I whisper, my voice cracking. "But sweetheart, you're the one who deserves better. You deserve someone who will truly protect you, who won't let anything harm you. Someone not like me."

I take a shaky breath, staring at her peaceful face. "I never thought I'd ever be able to love someone," I continue, my eyes filling with tears. "But I do. I love you so much. I can't live without you. I can't imagine a life without you."

Tears stream down my cheeks, "You changed my life, darling," I whisper, my voice breaking. "You made me feel things I never knew I was capable of feeling. You gave me a love I never thought I deserved."

I caress her cheek gently, my touch as gentle as a whisper, "You're the love that came without warning, you had my heart before I could say no." I say.

"Please come back to me," I plead, my voice cracking. "Please don't leave me alone. I don't know how to live without you."

If I have to beg, I will beg. But I need her in my life. "When we got married, I thought it will be a loveless marriage. I didn't trust you. But you proved me wrong everytime, you won me over," I sniffle, "you're very beautiful in and out, devil would fall in love with you, I am still a human." I chuckle.

I reach out, gently brushing a strand of hair away from her face. "I want to have lots of kids with you," I say, my voice trembling. "I want to see you become a published writer. I want to make you happy every single day. You're my home, Shivani, and I'm nothing without you."

I pause, my voice catching in my throat. The silence in the room feels deafening as I wait for her to respond. But there's nothing. Just the steady beeping of the machines and the soft sound of her breathing.

I lean forward, resting my head on her chest, listening to the faint beat of her heart. "Please," I whisper, my voice trembling with emotion. "Please, Shivani, don't leave me alone. I need you. I love you."

I squeeze her hand, willing her to wake up. "I love you, Shivani. I love you so much. I'm sorry I didn't say it before. I'm sorry for everything. Please, please wake up for me."

I feel her hand twitch in mine. My heart leapt in my chest. For a brief moment, it felt like she was trying to squeeze my hand back.

I lifted my head, staring at her, willing her eyes to open. "Shivani?" I whispered, my voice filled with hope. "Can you hear me? Can you open your eyes?"

I watch her face closely, praying for another sign. And then, her eyelashes flutter. It's subtle, but it's a reaction.

My heart races in my chest, my grip on her hand tightening. "Shivani," I say again, my voice pleading. "Please, open your eyes. Look at me."

"I love you too Rudra." She whispers, her voice so tiny. I think I imagined her voice.

Her eyes flutter open, and she looks at me, her gaze weak but filled with love. "I love you too, Rudra," she whispers again. My heart nearly stopped as I heard her soft whisper. Her words, so faint but so powerful, sent a surge of relief through me. I feel tears stream down my face, hot and heavy.

I can barely believe it. "Doctor!" I call out, I press the emergency button too many times, my voice ringing with urgency and hope. "She’s awake! She’s awake!"

The doctor rushes in, and I step back slightly, still holding Shivani's hand. They ask me to leave the room but Shivani says she wants me here. Relief floods through me as the doctor checks her vitals, confirming that she's stable and responding well.

"She's going to be okay," the doctor says, smiling.

I exhale a breath I didn't even realize I'd been holding. The doctor's words hit me like a ton of bricks, and finally, the full reality of the situation sinks in.

Shivani is going to be okay.

Relief washes over me, extinguishing the fear and anxiety that had gripped me from yesterday. I feel a weight lift off my shoulders as I turn to look at Shivani.

"You heard the doctor," I say with a shaky smile. "You're going to be okay." She nods.

"I love you, Shivani," I say again, my voice filled with all the emotion I've been holding back. "I love you so much."

She smiles weakly, her hand tightening around mine. "I know, Rudra. I know. And I love you too."

"Is maa okay?" She whispers, her voice hoarse.

"She's okay, except she kept blaming herself. But it's okay now that you're fine she will be fine too." I say.

"Can you bring her in?" She asks, I nod, wiping my tears, "I have a reputation to maintain." She chuckles but then hisses in pain.

"I can't believe I am saying this, but don't laugh!" I exclaim.

I hesitate for a moment, not wanting to leave Shivani's side, but I guess they both need to see each other. I walk out, everyone has smile on their faces, I am guessing the doctor told them, "maa she's calling you in." I inform. She rushes towards the room, Aarav and Aditi ask when can they see her and I tell them soon. Papa is chanting bholenaath's name, so I leave him and go back into the room. Shivani and maa are in an embrace.

Shivani's eyes are closed as she embraces maa tightly. They hold each other for several moments, taking comfort in each other's presence.

I stand back for a while, giving them a moment to reunite and console each other. When they finally pull away, Maa's face is tear-streaked, but there's a hint of a smile on her lips.

"I am glad you're okay beta." Maa says, "I am glad you're alright too Maa." Shivani sniffles. Fear and pain crosses through shivani's face, "Madhav Uncle?" She whispers looking at me with hope, and it breaks my heart to tell her the truth.

Author's note:
HE CONFESSED FINALLY! YAYYY!
Love:)