A Product Of The Internet

Who Were You Trying To Be?

Noah's POV:

PJ had stayed the night. I appreciated that, but a part of me felt he wasn't just doing this out of kindness, but he wanted something from me.

I reminded myself that I had terrible trust issues and focused on watching his chest rise and fall as he slept at the other end of my bed. A smile crept across my lips as he mumbled to himself in his sleep.

Troye mumbles in his sleep, too.

I thought, obliviously. Then it hit me. A huge tsunami of emotions. Memories of the good and the bad.

"I'm sorry Noah, but that baby is not mine. It can't be"

His voice repeated in my head, my breathing quickened.

"I wasn't there. It can't be."

I sat up in bed, despite it causing pain to shoot up my spine. I hugged my knees and rocked back and forth, tears spilling down my cheeks. A short whimper escaped my mouth, which I tried to cover by clamping a hand over my mouth.

PJ rolled over and opened one eye. Slowly his vision focused and he saw my tear stained cheeks. He sat upright immediately and crawled over to me.

He didn't say anything, but he wrapped his arms around me, so I could sob into his chest.

"You should have let me die." I sobbed

Still, he said nothing, but continued to hold me as salty tears flowed freely from my eyes.

We sat like this for about half an hour, before my shaking and crying subsided.

I pulled away from him and covered myself with my bed sheets, avoiding all eye contact.

"You must be hungry." He said, after a long overdue silence.

I shook my head, refusing to meet his eyes.

"You need to eat. You're carrying a baby, don't forget."

"I don't think that's something I could just forget." I snapped at him, rolling over on my side.

He stood up from the bed, and it lifted as his weight was removed. He slept in all of his clothes.

"I'm going to get some food for you, whether you like it or not." He started for the door, and pulled on the handle

"What are you getting?" I blurted out before he could leave.

"Is McDonald's okay?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Acceptable," I said
I could almost hear his smirk as he walked out.
***
It had been an hour since PJ left. There must have been traffic on the way. I hadn't moved from the position in which he left me, I was drifting in and out of conciousness. Every time I woke up, I thought I had overdosed again, and started to panic. Eventually I remembered that I had just fallen asleep again. Finally, I had managed to fall into a long lasting sleep. No interruptions. No panic attacks.

Dream like faces flashed before me. The disappointed faces of my mother, father and brother. Connor and Tyler shaking their heads in unison, disapprovingly. Troye blinking at me, disgusted. All of my closest friends. Judging me.

"Noah." They chanted "Noah, wake up"

Slowly the faces and voices dissolved into the darkest depths of my brain and I began to wake up.

My vision adjusted and I saw a thin body leaning over me.

"Noah? Wake up!"

"You're back?" I whispered, assuming that PJ has returned.

"I am so sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me,"

"For what?" I asked
I lifted my eyes to meet who I thought was PJ's eyes. Instead my whole world was blown to pieces. I was looking into Troye Sivan's intense blue eyes.

My breath caught in my throat and I screamed internally. One word was swirling around my brain, relentlessly:
How?

A tear escaped the corner of his eye and fell onto my bed, silently.

"T-Tyler told me everything. How you.. Overdosed." He started to play with the sleeves of his sweater, refusing to meet my eyes again. "I came as soon as I heard."

I nodded, mutely.

Troye cleared his throat loudly.

"Don't ever do that again." He whispered

I hung my head in shame, and a few minutes of silence ensued. I felt a warm body press against mine, and I realised he had laid down next to me and was snuggling into my back.

"Troye," I whispered
His head arose from the crook of my neck.

"Why do you care?" I asked.

I felt his chest rise and fall as he sighed.

"Truth be told, I still love you, Noah. Even after all we've done to each other."

Memories of sleeping with PJ and Troye leaving me without a word flooded back unapologetically.

"I understand if you don't feel the same way, since PJ is going to be the father of your child." Troye muttered, detaching himself from me.

I immediately missed his touch. I craved it.

I jolted up in bed.

"PJ isn't the father," I blurted out.

It was his turn to sit up now.
"I was very drunk that night, but he wasn't as bad. He made sure we used protection."

Troye's breathing quickened, and we sat there for a good 30 seconds, just staring at each other, until the corners of his lips curled upwards and he lunged forward to pull me into him.

Our lips crashed together for a quick, clumsy kiss.

"So this is our baby?" He said breathlessly, pointing at my tiny bump.
I nodded, smiling weakly.

"Hey, little person in there! I'm your daddy!" (Daddy af am I right) Troye said, his mouth to my stomach.
I threw back my head and laughed like I hadn't in a very long time.

PJ's POV:
I unlocked the door quickly, carrying the tray with two McDonald's milkshakes balanced on it upstairs. As I neared Noah's room I heard voices, so I paused.

"We're going to be the best family ever!" I heard a male voice exclaim.

A male Australian voice.

I peeked through the crack in the door to see a devastating sight. Troye was kneeling on her bed, his ear to her growing stomach. They were both smiling. Happy and in love.

My good mood soured instantly, and I left the food outside her door.

Down the stairs I went, angry thoughts developing in the back of my mind. Thoughts of how to win her back. How to destroy Troye.

Then I remembered that this was the person that she really loved. That this was the person she was willing to die for. I switched on my phone promptly and typed up a message

To: Dan
Hey, catching the next flight to London. See you soon.

I sighed and strolled out of her house, the sound of laughter trickling out of her open bedroom window upstairs whilst a tear was trickling down my cheek.

A/N-
2 DAYS UNTIL SUMMER.
What team? WILDCATS.
I was a high school musical child, and still am as you can see. Thnks fr th rds <3