A Product Of The Internet

Talk Me Down

Troye's POV:

I want to sleep next to you,
but that's all I want to do right now.

I scribbled the words onto my wrists, in an attempt to distract myself from the razor blades dancing before me every time I closed my eyes.

At first, when Noah was first admitted to hospital, I felt frustrated, sexually and emotionally. "Missing" wasn't the correct word. It was more like I craved her touch. Sometimes, when the nurses had themselves occupied with other patients, I considered squeezing myself into the hospital bed next to her. I imagined myself, pushing the tubes connecting her and the machines away and her sea foam eyes snapping open, and locking on my wild, tired pupils.

I imagined our embrace to be a sweet and gentle one, since I would be afraid of hurting her. She was too fragile, too pure for this world.

But that never happened.

Time wore on, and my hopes dropped low.
I no longer wanted to touch her, or for her to touch me. I just wanted to be near her, so I could just about feel the warmth radiating from body.  I wanted to clasp her limp hand in mine, feeling every curve and nuance of her fingers. Nothing more, nothing less.
And that's why I was writing that sentence on my wrist.

As my daydream came to a close, and I returned to my cruel reality, I corrected my poor posture, and sat up in the chair next to her bed.

The beeping noise of her heart monitor was keeping time, like a metronome in her room, and set a steady pace for my thoughts.

"I wish you could see this," I whispered to her, gazing down at the sharpie on my skin "I think I'd want it tattooed one day. What do you think?"

I held my wrist above her eyelids, as if they were made of glass, so that she could see through them.

"I think we should get matching ones." I commented, withdrawing my arm slowly, and settling in my chair, my good posture out the window.

Silence followed, but that was okay. I was used to not having replies by now.

I stood to make my way to the vending machine, since I was craving something calorie rich and  anything that had  more chemicals than actual food in it.

And just like that, without warning the steady metronome became irregular and erratic. Her heart monitor was beeping rapidly, jolting me from my relatively mellow mood.

I jumped, as I realised her chest moving rapidly. Without another glance at her, I was out in the corridor, screaming for help.

Déjà vu kicked in as nurses and doctors ran past me and told me to stay outside, all with grave expressions on their faces.

I didn't scream this time, or cry. I just sat, and waited for someone to come and tell me the worst.

A/N:
Sorry for being evil ;)
Hope you enjoyed this part, there's maybe 10 more before I end this book? I'll see, that number may get bigger or smaller depending on if I come up with something new. This was my very first book and its so fun to write. I never expected it to get more that 100 views to be honest, so thank you to everyone who's read any of it!

AND a huge thanks to those who vote comment etc. I see you. I love you.

Xx