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I Smell Heartbreak On My Hands

~Troye looks like an anime character in the picture I attatched aw ~

Troye's POV:
I stroked the end of the small picture in my hand, a bittersweet feeling washing over me.

It's amazing how fast 6 months can fly, but drag on at the same time. In my hands was an ultrasound picture of the baby.  The nurses tried their best to cheer me up. They all said it had my nose and winked at me, fishing for a smile, a chuckle even. I just stared on, and nodded politely. Although I was sat next to Noah in her hospital room, my mind was elsewhere. I was living in the past, replaying our memories over and over, from the day we met in Taco Bell to the day I found out she overdosed. In short, I was clinging onto what I had left of Noah, now that she may not come back.

I leaned down and kissed her on her forehead, which was cold and pale and felt different to the times I had kissed her prior to the "accident".

"Please wake up, No," I sighed, squeezing her limp hand "for me. For us."

I stood and gazed out of the window and at the jet black sky, with its white stars sprinkled across it.

"Everyone misses you." I said, as though I was trying to convince her to open her eyes. As usual, there was no reply to my plea.

I sighed and shrugged my long black coat on, and kissed her goodbye. This was the first time I had left the hospital in 4 days. I didn't really know where I was going, but I felt that if I stayed there any longer I would just explode or have a panic attack. I didn't want to do that in front of her. Unconscious or not.

Tears mixed with the rainwater that had started to descend from the sky as I stalked along the pavement, my shoulders hunched and my hands in my pocket, clutching the picture of my unborn child.

Before I knew it, I was outside an apartment block, pressing the buzzer for Zoe and Alfie's apartment.

"Hello?" Zoe's chipper voice crackled through the intercom.

I cleared my throat in an attempt to mask the fact I had been crying on the way here.

"Hi Zoe. It's Troye." I said

"Oh my--come right up, you must be freezing!" The next thing I heard was the buzz of the door being unlocked.
I shuffled into the building and took off my soaked trench-coat as I headed for the stairs.

Before I could knock on the door, Zoe already threw it open. Her eyes widened when she saw me.

"You're soaked!" She tutted and beckoned me inside.

The apartment was on the larger side and decorated richly. It had a chocolate L shaped leather couch accompanied by a burgundy rug and electric fireplace, making the place look cosy and warm. A long corridor lead to what I assumed was the master bedroom and the bathroom.

"Sit down, I'll get you a towel."

I perched on the end of the couch, trying not to get it wet. Zoe's laptop was open beside me, and I couldn't help but take a peek at what she had been looking at before I came.

@/TOAHMYLIFE: where has Troye been? He hasn't uploaded in 7 months?????? Might unsub if he isn't posting anymore :(

@/bananatroyler: I hope Troye hasn't quit YouTube to be with his slut of a gf

As Zoe scurried into the room, I turned my head a little too quickly from the position it was in. She tossed me a towel for my hair and bit her lip.

"They really are worried." She said, sitting next to me

I turned to her and raised an eyebrow, issuing her a silent question.