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My grandma told me that something was holding me back,like there was just some bad energy that I was holding back and relaxing won't help me with anything.
The energy needed something,it wanted something so she suggested that I should go back to my old house,the house my mom own which my father took because she died,the house I got abused in,the house that carried so many memories.
I asked my brother and aaliyah to come with me cuz I felt as if I went alone I might not come back at all.
They agreed to come with me so we went to the house.
"I'm still so confused on how you two are siblings like it just doesn't make sense"
Aaliyah said as she closed the door of my brother's car.
"Damn this is where y'all use to live?"
Cartier asked me also getting out of the car,closing the door.
I just stood there blocking out whatever was getting out of their mouths as I felt as if I was drifting to another universe.
A universe that takes me way way back, Back when my mother was still alive ,when we both would go out every Sunday afternoon buying ice cream to congratulate me on my performance at the church.
When we both would act like we were in a fashion show, showing off the so called Designs which were randomly combined pieces of clothing and other random items. When we would have so much together and after her death were my father would have my head hit against the counter or a wall,were he would abuse me for no reason.
"Laila,Laila,Lai? You still there?
They asked me before I shook my head snapping back to reality.
"Oh sorry I was just zoning out".
"You sure you comfortable doing this?'
Cartier asked me patting my shoulder? Making sure I was actually ok instead of faking just for the vibes.
I nodded my head hinting that I was ok doing this.
Once we got in I felt a diffrent type of air hit me.
As soon as I opened that door I remembered all the memories good,bad or neutral,it was all just giving me a type of deja vu that I couldn't explain.
It was a feeling were I felt like this was were I belonged my whole life,a place that brought back memories,a place of peace, relaxation and all the abuse,yelling,fights,cries and everything else that I could think about.
Before the two of them came over and asked me questions if I was functioning or not I started to walk around the entrance room were there was just some white leather carpets sitting and a red,pink and striped carpet sat under the long wooden resting table that had all those old plants on them.
