Hold

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒏

"Not you buying her the exact same flowers I did." Chey laughed as I got myself comfortable in her passenger seat. I peered into the backseat to indeed find the exact same bouquet of pink wild lilies carefully secured with a seatbelt.

"Ahh, we'll have to start video-calling before our visits!" I said as I laughed at the coincidence. "But for now, the more, the merrier."

"Yeah." Chey smiled. "It will give us reason to finally start putting flowers in that vase you bought for her birthday."

"I love the way you think, sis."

"Anyway, what's up with you?" Chey started suggestively. "You have a little more ice in your cream today..."

"What?! Who even says that?" I laughed at the unique way she'd used to describe the extra joy I'd been feeling lately under the influence of Towani's sweet affection towards me. There was never a dull moment with him, and I was growing more smitten day by day.

"Ash does," Chey provided with a comical shrug.

"Okay, checks out." I giggled.

"So?" she said impatiently, eyebrows raised as she temporarily took her eyes off the road to steal a glance at me.

"So..." I said reflectively, "I don't know, I guess I'm finally starting to feel true happiness after about five years of feeling like the unluckiest, loneliest person on the planet."

"Aww, stop!" she scrunched her face adorably. "I'm guessing Towani is responsible for all of that..."

"I think he's responsible for the freedom I've found to finally feel this joy and this warmth without feeling guilty or afraid I'll lose it all," I said, getting a bit emotional as I tried to put the feelings of the last couple of months into words. "Truly, before we even started talking again, I felt less unlucky and less lonely, thanks to you and the people I've gained through just being your sister. I was worried it might not last, though. So many things didn't in the past, you know?"

"I know, sweetie." Chey reached out her hand for me to hold and I did so with ease, knowing I'd always be safe with her. "I'm happy for you. Glad that you found someone who helps you detach from the past and all its trauma. It's always a great time when you find that what the heck did your mom put in your porridge kinda love."

I stared at her, mind boggled until it dawned on me, "Let me guess, another Ashley phrase?"

"You know it," Chey laughed. We were getting closer to the Pamoja Old Age Home now, the reason I'd left Towani at my place with our cats. When I first set foot there, I had no clue what I was doing. I was just so desperate to connect to family that I lied about being in contact with Cheyenne so they could allow me an hour with my grandmother.

I remember living in raw, unfiltered fear daily back then, counting down the days till I appeared in court for the biggest mistake I'd ever made in my life – for a second time. I was living an actual nightmare, drowning in my biggest regret. Walking into that room where my happy grandmother sat was bittersweet for me. I was deeply saddened by the thought that I'd never see her again, but I was grateful she'd remembered me and warmly welcomed me after sixteen years of separation.