Beautiful Ruins

Chapter 55

I walk into the training room slowly, not particularly keen to start training. I've changed into a grey long-sleeved top and black leggings, basic but casual. Steve is waiting for me; I was sort of hoping he'd find something more important to do.

The room is empty, there's nothing in here. Just white walls and a cream-coloured floor. I glance around the room, it's in the shape of a square and there's nothing in here. "What exactly are we doing?" I ask Steve, glancing at him.

"This room can withstand anything" Steve informs me. "Try it." Fire emerges at my fingertips, and I throw a fireball at the wall, it doesn't even leave a mark. Water submerges the ground; the ground looks dry as soon as the water is gone.

"What type of training is this?" I ask Steve, it might be kind of satisfying but I'm not sure what I'm going to learn. Steve walks closer to me, looking intently at me. I look away, a room being able to withstand anything is a smart idea, especially considering Wanda and Thor are avengers, even Tony's suit could do a lot of damage.

"I'm not training you until I think you've processed and dealt with everything, that is how you learn to control these powers. It's clear they're based on your emotions." Steve says, causing me to glance at him again. Steve pulls down the sleeve of his blue shirt as he waits for me to respond. He's right, I dreamt about Clover killing Tony and then killing me and that's when I accidentally set my curtains on fire.

"I'm processing my kidnapping, I know it wasn't real" I tell Steve, all I saw was what Magneto wanted me to see. Steve looks unconvinced at my words, probably because I set my curtain on fire this morning.

"Have you made peace with Scarlett's death? And her betrayal? Have you really dealt with Mystique trying to kill you?" Steve challenges me. I say nothing, I don't think I can make my peace with Scarlett's death, I can get over her betrayal, but her death is something that will stay with me until I die, maybe even afterwards. "Have you dealt with everything the x-men made you do?"

"How do I forgive myself for bombing a building and killing so many people?" I ask Steve. "How do I accept the fact Scarlett is dead because in her final moments she chose to save my life?" I'm glad that Peter, MJ, and Clover survived but I wish Scarlett had survived too, maybe even instead of me. A part of me wishes Scarlett was never my friend so I didn't have to mourn her, the other part is afraid of who I'd be if she'd never entered my life.

"You start by accepting that it's happened, accepting that you can't do anything to change it" Steve replies and he begins to head towards a door. The door is see-through and leads to a small area with two chairs. "You can't hurt anyone or anything once I'm in there, I want you to deal with it." Steve walks into the room and shuts the door, sitting down on the chair.

Scarlett's body fills my mind, she didn't deserve that. She never had a choice, none of us did, Scarlett agreed to join the x-men team, but what else could she have done? She was right, we don't all have avengers as parents who will fight for us. If she was sent with Peter, she could still be locked up in a cell now. Tears fall down my face, maybe I didn't try hard enough, maybe I was too selfish to see it from her perspective. I failed Scarlett, I called her my best friend and yet I couldn't save her. She shouldn't have died for me; I didn't deserve that.

My mind flickers to the building, if I had known, would I have done it anyway? I want to believe I wouldn't have but Magneto was right, I am ruthless and ice cold. I never wanted innocent people to die, but would I have let Mystique manipulate me into it?

The room is on fire, yet nothing looks burnt or like it's even been touched. Water is flooding the room, but the room looks perfectly fine. I close my eyes, but I realise I don't want to stop this, I think Steve has the right way of getting me to deal with everything.

Mystique trying to kill me and lying to me hurts, but it's the kind of pain I can tolerate. Scarlett dying and Clover killing me, I don't think I can handle those types of pain, I don't know what I'd do if Clover really had tried to kill me.

At some point I realise that I'm down on my knees, I make no attempt to get back up. More tears stream down my face, I didn't realise how much all of this was still bothering me. Maybe this is how I make my peace with it, maybe this is how I accept everything that's happened, I smile despite everything as I think about how Clover won't like me saying Steve's idea actually helped.

I glance at the door as it opens. Both Natasha and Tony walk in, I stand up and walk over to Tony who immediately embraces me.

"I'm sorry for running off with Clover" I say, I pull away from Tony and turn to Natasha who hugs me tightly.

"No, we're the ones who are sorry, we should've been there more for you after Scarlett died, and somebody should've made sure Clover was okay" Natasha says. "I'm always going to be here for you from now on."

"We've both dealt with the pain of losing loved ones and with having to deal with the consequences of our actions, we're going to help you" Tony says, I smile. He has been there for me constantly from the minute he found out I was his daughter; he is everything I'd want in a father.

"Steve was right, surprisingly" I say, I do feel better now. I let all my emotions and my feelings out and now I feel like I can process what's happened and begin to try and heal, begin to make sure Scarlett's death wasn't for nothing and make sure that the x-men don't hurt or kill any more innocent humans.

"Come on, let's go talk" Natasha says, placing her arm around me and we start to head out of the room. "I think we need family time."

"Okay" I answer, family time sounds nice, I've spent time with both Natasha and Tony but I haven't had much quality time with the both of them together.

*Author's Note* Who is ur favourite avenger?