Beautiful Ruins

Chapter 113

*TRIGGER WARNING* Mention of a previous suicide attempt. 

"Storm!" Henry exclaims, racing over to me and hugging me tightly. His eyes are red which makes my heart drop. "Oh my god, Storm." I hug Henry tightly, I'm glad he's here. Henry is my family, he's not just a friend, he's my brother. I've just gotten to my room; Henry must've been waiting.

"Henry, we'll leave the both of you alone, can you tell us before you leave the room?" Steve asks in a completely serious tone.

"I'm not five, Steve, I don't need a babysitter" I reply, trying to sound as polite as I can, I know Steve is just trying to help me and keep me safe, but I can't stand the idea of someone being constantly with me.

"Less than thirty minutes ago you were planning to shoot yourself, I'd beg to differ" Natasha replies, standing next to Steve. Tony very reluctantly left to see and go Pepper, she needed to discuss something with him.

"I'll let you know" Henry says, Steve and Natasha head out of the room, I watch as Steve places his arm around Natasha's shoulder. I'm glad Natasha has Steve to comfort her, I've never seen her as upset as she was in the forest.

"Are you mad?" I sit down on my bed, leaning against my pillows. Henry sits next to me, glancing at me with concern and sadness in his eyes. I close my eyes, I wanted to believe Henry would be ok, but he looks devastated at the thought of losing me.

"I'm too sad to be angry and I'm too angry to be sad" Henry replies, I close my eyes, I couldn't imagine how I'd feel if our situations were reversed.

"I'm sorry" I say, glancing at Henry, I have no idea what I'm supposed to say in this situation, I didn't exactly head into the forest with a clear idea in mind, I just saw the gun and things just started happening.

"I don't want you to be sorry, you don't need to be sorry. I knew you were struggling but I didn't realise it was to this extent" Henry says quietly, placing his arm around my shoulder, I lean my head on his shoulder, I feel safe with Henry. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't think I realised how bad it was until everything Florence said" I say honestly, I think her words sent me spiralling, I guess it was the tipping point for me. My heart aches as I remember what Florence said. "She said loving me is a death sentence and she's right."

"She's an idiot, she told us everything she said, and I told her how stupid she was" Henry says, his eyes darkening and his fists clenching. "I also gave her a bloody nose." I open my mouth to say something, but I realise I don't care, Henry was just trying to protect me as always and I don't really care about Florence, she's just a stranger.

"I just miss a lot of people and I'm so tired" I admit to Henry. I know he knows; he's lost a lot too. "I dream about Scarlett and Ash all the time, and I'm just waiting for Clover to appear in my nightmares." I think my mind isn't allowing Clover to appear in my nightmares because it knows I can't physically handle that.

"Scar and Ashton were our family, it makes sense that we'll miss them for a long time, but that doesn't mean our lives are pointless and that we can't be happy" Henry replies, glancing at me. His green eyes mean my blue ones and he runs a hand through his black hair.

"If I wasn't here, they could still be alive, and I've killed so many people, H, I can't forgive myself for that" I admit, the bombing also appears in my nightmares a lot, as well as being beaten and electrocuted, I don't really sleep well anymore.

"Storm, their deaths aren't on you, we're involved in a war which means people we love are going to die" Henry replies, taking a deep breath. "You're the only family I have left. When Steve told me what you almost did, I genuinely couldn't breathe until I saw you again, I felt like the world had stopped."

"Tony wants me to see a therapist, but I don't want to" I say, he mentioned it on the way back but didn't argue with me when I refused, it wasn't the right time for a heated discussion. I can't blame Tony for thinking that, but I really don't want to talk to some random stranger about everything that's happened. I just want everyone to pretend I didn't almost shoot myself.

"Maybe you should" Henry says hesitantly, I don't say anything. After what I almost did in the forest, I don't think anyone is going to agree with me.

"If you feel like this again, can you please tell me?" Henry asks quietly, glancing over at me. Henry's hands are shaking the tiniest bit, I know he's terrified of losing me. I don't know how I would cope without Henry, I'm so glad we came back into each other's lives.

"Ok, if you promise to do the same whenever you're struggling" I say.

"Deal" Henry smiles at me and hugs me. I glance at the pictures on my desk, Natasha gave me a picture of Estella which I've kept, and I've got pictures of Ashton, Scarlett, and Clover. The people I loved and lost.