Beautiful Ruins

Chapter 53

"Never do that again" Clover says seriously, I don't have to ask what she means. What she doesn't realise is that I don't regret the choice I made, if I stayed in the plane, Clover would have bled out and died.

"I didn't want you to die" I say, every bit as serious, besides Magneto could have destroyed the plane and still kidnapped me and left Clover to die. Alternatively, he could have taken Clover to heal her so he could torture her too, I wasn't going to let either of those options happen to the girl that I love.

"You scared us, we thought you could've been killed" Peter says, I look away, feeling guilty. If I had listened to Tony and Natasha, I wouldn't have been kidnapped and Clover wouldn't have gotten shot, I wanted to help Clover, yet I almost got her killed.

I fiddle with the sleeves of my white long-sleeved top. "I'm sorry" I say, an apology isn't enough but it's all that I have to give. I glance over at Clover, wanting her to know my apology extends to her, I encouraged her reckless choice that she only made because she was dealing with the aftermath of being kidnapped. Clover caresses my palm with her thumb and smiles at me.

"I can't be mad at you, I'm too relived you're both alive" Peter replies, Peter's a good friend, he has been from the second he came to visit me after Fury revealed the truth. He had no reason to come and check on me, but he did, and our friendship was formed.

"What did you see?" Clover asks, looking over at me. I don't know how to answer this, how do I tell Clover I saw her kill me? I don't think I'm ready to discuss what happened, it feels so real to me. I can understand why Steve was concerned I could wake up and try to kill Natasha or Tony, because for the first few moments when I woke up, I genuinely believed all of that had happened. What if Clover had been there? I could have hurt her.

"I saw myself placing a bomb in a building. I couldn't stop it" I answer, not making eye contact with Clover or Peter. It may have been years ago, but I only found out when Fury told me. I don't think it's the type of thing I'll get over, I don't think I can ever forgive myself for this. "I don't really want to talk about the rest." Not with Clover, maybe with Peter or Tony, but not yet. I think I need to process it on my own first.

"That's fine, you don't have to discuss it" Clover says quickly, Peter nods in agreement and gives me a supportive smile. Clover stabbing me flashes through my mind again, I try to shove the thought out of my mind, Steve was right, I know Clover, the real Clover is in love with me, and she'd never hurt me.

Peter and Clover start to fill me in on things that have happened during the past four days. Clover went to school with Peter, she hasn't thrown a knife at anyone yet so that's a pretty good start. "Oh my god Flash is so annoying, he was asking where you were" Clover says, rolling her eyes. I laugh, surprised Flash remembers who I am, going to school with Peter feels like a lifetime ago.

"He'll see me tomorrow" I reply, there's no point hanging around aimlessly at Stark towers. For once, we're all here and relatively safe. "What made you agree to go to school?" I ask Clover, she had agreed before, but I thought she was mainly going because I was going.

"Steve said I either went to school or I had to spend the day with him. He was worried I was going to get myself killed trying to find you" Clover says rolling her eyes. Peter and I both laugh, Clover would probably rather be killed than spend a day with Steve, she's very vocal about how much she dislikes him.

Going to school sounds good for once, something nice and peaceful. I'm going to try to enjoy it since it probably won't be long until someone who I care about is in a life-or-death situation, I guess this what happens when you grew up with the x-men and now you're living with the avengers.

"Do you want us to let you rest? You look tired" Peter says, I am tired, but I don't want to fall asleep and then dream about the stupid simulation Magneto put me in.

"I'll stay with you until you fall asleep if it'll make you feel safer" Clover says, sensing my hesitation. I smile at her. We understand each other, she always seems to know when I'm unsure about something. I understand when she's reluctant to trust people, she hasn't had people in her corner until she met me.

"Thank you" I say. Peter stands up and gives me a hug, he then heads out of the room.

"Call me if you need anything, okay? I don't care what time it is" Peter says, pausing in the doorway and looking back at me.

"You too" I say, meaning it. We both care about each other so much, when we thought Loki had taken Clover and MJ, we both tried to get the other to stay behind, we knew fighting Loki was basically a death sentence.

I rest my head on Clover's chest and she places her arm around me, like she's afraid we'll be ripped apart again. "I'm sorry for what happened, I know it was my fault" Clover says quietly.

"It wasn't, this isn't a sorry situation" I assure her, I don't blame Clover for this, we both made the stupid decision to go after Magneto, despite how powerful and smart we know he is. Scarlett killing Mystique instead of me wouldn't have helped the situation either, if she had shot me then Mystique would still be alive.

My mind flickers to my younger self. She didn't even blink when I warned her that they didn't love her, she didn't believe it for a second. I freeze for a second as Clover begins to push my hair out of my face, but quickly lean into her embrace.

"I'd never hurt you, Storm, I know you know that" Clover says softly, obviously sensing my hesitation now and back when she hugged me. "Get some rest, okay? You're safe."