Beautiful Ruins

Chapter 109

I walk into Henry and Milo's room. The room is empty, so I decide to start looking around, I am curious about this house now that I know Estella lived here. I open a chest of drawers and my heart flickers slightly as I see another notebook. I open it and see Estella's name, my eyes widen as I see the date in the corner, she would've been pregnant with me. I head back into my room and sit down on my bed.

I found something out today. I'm having a girl, the only person I've told is Florence, she was happy that the next generation is starting off with a girl. I miss Charles, I agree with Florence that it's too risky to tell him, the x-men team will stop at nothing to get this baby if they discover she's the child of Charles, but I really wish there was a place where we could raise her safely together, I don't know anything about harnessing and controlling powers and she's a mutant, she could have any power in the world. Florence says she'll help, but she doesn't have powers either. I've decided on a name. Josette Grace Raven. I haven't even met my little girl yet, but I can't wait to watch her grow and see what she becomes. My only goal is for her to know how much I love her and that there is nothing I wouldn't do for her, she's not born yet but she is already the person I love most in this world.

My breath is shaky as I skip pages, wanting to see what happened when she was further along in her pregnancy. Estella didn't deserve to die like this, she died because she was trying to protect me from the exact fate that I wound up in. Mystique and Magneto found us, killed my mother, and turned me into the monster that Estella was afraid I'd become.

Josette is ten months old, and the rumours are spreading. Florence was attacked by x-men who asked her if Josette Raven was the daughter of Charles Xavier, Florence managed to escape, and she's fled. I'm leaving tonight and I'm going to meet Florence, we're leaving the state, it's too dangerous having Josie so close to the avengers and x-men, I worked for S.H.I.E.L.D and I highly respect them, but I know Fury will want to train my daughter and get her involved in this fight. I can't and won't let my daughter fight so young, when she's old enough to decide if she wants to join S.H.I.E.L.D I will let her and support her decision, but I won't let other people make the decision for her. I want Josie to figure out who she is before the world tells her who she has to be, I don't care if she's the daughter of the most powerful telepath, she deserves to make her own path in life.

I close my eyes, if only Estella had made it to Florence, and they'd escaped. Everything would've been different; I wouldn't have hurt innocent people and I would have grown up having a mum and aunt who loved me so much they risked their lives for me. I know they made their own choices, I was an infant, but I can't help but feel responsible, Estella died trying to escape with me and it resulted in her death. Natasha said Estella wouldn't be ashamed of me, but I became the monster she knew the x-men would turn me into.

"Hey" MJ walks in, she glances at the diary and gives me a slightly sympathetic smile. "Is that Estella's diary?"

"Yeah" I answer, MJ sits next to me. "She died trying to stop the x-men from turning me into a monster, so I guess she died for nothing." I'm tempted to ask Charles if Florence is alive, but I don't want my auntie to realise her sister died trying to prevent something that did happen, Florence would be disgusted by me, and I cannot blame her.

"Storm, you're not a monster, you didn't know. I think you are the kindest person I've ever met, and your loyalty is endless, hell you defended Scarlett until her final breath" MJ says firmly, her brown eyes looking serious. I look away from MJ, that doesn't erase the fact that over a hundred people died because I planted a bomb, I might not have known but I still did it.

"I wish Estella had raised me" I admit, glancing down at her necklace. Her and Charles would have been amazing parents, Charles would've taught me how to fight and how to control my powers and Estella would've made me feel so loved. I could've joined S.H.I.E.L.D and started helping earlier, I could've saved children from ending up how I did.

Estella may not have been able to raise me, but I can still make her proud by doing the right thing in the end, even if it kills me. She died for me, I have to be worth something, I have to do something good.

"You're more like her than you think, Charles and Natasha have both said so" MJ points out, she squeezes my hand. I give MJ a grateful smile, MJ takes the diary and puts it down on the desk next to my bed. "I came up to get you because training is starting."

I stand up and follow MJ downstairs and outside. Henry and Milo are talking quietly while Peter and Ned are sitting down, both looking lost in their own thoughts. MJ immediately heads over to Peter, while I decide to head over to Henry and Milo. Peter gets up and joins the three of us. 

*Author's Note* Storm mourning the childhood she could have had makes me sad. Also, I love her and MJ and their friendship as the only girls in the group.