Faces Of You

🥀34🥀

Tw: mentioned past abuse and past power imbalance

-

   Talking… talking did not go well. Talking was not good. Talking turned into sex very quickly.

   One round of sex turned into two, then three, then five, then a break, then Felix's back was in pain, so much pain.

   “So, is anything else bothering you besides your shoulder?” Sana asked.

   “My back, but that isn't because of a injury,”

  Sana chuckled.

   “Your arm is healing fine, but I still suggest you use a sling and limit movement, that includes sex,”

   Felix nodded.

  “So, I looked at your medical records because I needed to see what the doctors in New York said. I noticed a new doctor, Jieun. Is everything okay?” Sana asked, sitting on her chair.

    “I just have been going through a lot with what happened in New York, it has been bringing up some past memories and it is taking a bit of toll,”

   Sana nodded and patted Felix's hand, “Jieun is the best in her field, if anyone knows how to help it is her,”

   Felix nodded, “I just hope I can actually talk about some of the stuff,” he said.

  “It takes time. Now, I am going to prescribe you some pain killers for your shoulder, that might also help with your back,” Sana said.

   “Is there anything I need to be sure of when taking them?”

   “No, it is basically ibuprofen just a little stronger,”

    “Okay,” Felix said.

   -
 
     Hyunjin kissed Felix as soon as he walked into the threshold, “Is Yuqi here?” He mumbled in between the kiss.

  “Mm, no,” Felix muttered.

  “Good,”

  Hyunjin kissed Felix again. Felix probably could've continued, but they needed to talk, so he pulled away.

  “This… this is not why I called you over,” Felix said.

   “Is something wrong?” Hyunjin asked.

   “Uhm, I think we should stop having sex,”

    Okay, odd.

   “Uh, okay?”

  “I mean since the accident, I just haven't been dealing and I've kind of been just ignoring it by having sex and- and covering up everything.

   I don't… I want you to be you know in my life as a friend, but I don't think I can continue with the sex thing,” Felix explained.

   Hyunjin's heart panged a little. Of course, he wanted to be more then just friends, but he understood where Felix was coming from.

   With what the blond had just been through along with whatever he had been through before Micah. He needed time to heal that and Hyunjin didn't want to push.

   “Okay,”

  “Okay?”

   Hyunjin nodded, “I'm not just going to leave and be upset because you want end having sex. I'd be a world class jerk for that and not only that, why would I leave? Sex or no sex, I would still be here,”

   This felt different.

   “Uh, okay… do you want to do something?” Felix asked unsure.

   Hyunjin smiled a little, “How about we cook lunch?”

   “You know how to cook?”

   “Oh, yeah, I live in a house with 39 other men, quite a few of us know how to cook,” Hyunjin said taking off his coat.

  Felix smiled, “Okay. Let's cook,”

    So, it was mainly going to be Hyunjin cooking over Felix.

   “So, let's talk,” Hyunjin said.

   “Talk?”

  Hyunjin nodded rolling up his sleeves, “All the times we've been together we weren't really talking,”

   “What do you want to talk about?” Felix asked.

   “Uh, how about childhoods? If you want,”

   “Mm, mine was messy. In and out of foster homes and then I was finally adopted and only to find out it wasn't out of love, but because they wanted a male heir,”

   Hyunjin nodded, “The foster system is crappy in different ways. Letting kids slip through the cracks, abuse. While parts of it can be good, other parts are bad,”

   “Seems like a bit of personal experience,” Felix said.

  “My little brother, he is adopted. After my parents adopted him and found out what he was put through, they made a pretty big point to help fix the system,” Hyunjin said, as he cut potatoes.

   “That is amazing. How about you? What was your childhood like?”

  “Hm, it was fun, but also strict. My sister and I would fight constantly, but it was mainly banter. We went to private school, which while nice also got boring. When I was eleven my little brother came into the picture, he was six,” Hyunjin said.

  “How was high school?” Felix asked.

  Hyunjin set the potatoes in the pot of water, “I went to an art high school, as soon as my parents saw my interest in art they put me in one. My sister stayed in a private school and majored in business, she is the heir to our family's company. You?”

  Felix bit his lip and grabbed a baby carrot from the bag, “It was something. Freshman year, fun. Sophomore year, I was caught up in a messy school thing.

   Junior year, a lot of aftermath from sophomore year as well as being set up with Wes. Senior year, I was cheated on and I used alcohol and sex as a way to cope,”

   Hyunjin hummed and nodded.

   “You can ask, Hyunjin,” Felix said.

   “I don't want to make you uncomfortable,”

   “I just don't like telling people who I don't trust. When Yuqi mentioned it a while ago we had barely known each other,”

  Hyunjin bit his lip, “What happened?”

   “I was caught up in a rumour that an upperclassman started because he wanted me to date him, I am still unsure why, though. He was 19, I was 15. This particular senior had influence in the school because his mom was the principal.

   I admit I was quite naive, Yuqi warned me, Jisung warned me. Hell, even his sister did. I didn't listen, he was cute and he liked me, however, he used what he knew about me against me.

  He used the fact that I could hide my emotions from the people closest to me against me. It was a very toxic situation and I was stupid for staying in it as long as I did, even after I was in the hospital I stayed,”

   Hyunjin's grip on the knife was tight, before it finally relaxed and he set it down.

  “You weren't stupid or naive. He was manipulative and knew how to take advantage of you being with him,” Hyunjin said softly.

   Felix nodded giving a small tight lipped smile, “It is in the past now so I try not dwell on it much, every now and then it comes up though and I don't know what to do, so I hide from the world,”

    “He was a jerk for start whatever rumour it was,”

    The blond pressed his lips together.

  “I am going to go get you a hand towel,” Felix said hopping off the counter.

   Hyunjin nodded and began to finish cutting the carrots.

     Felix left the kitchen and went to the linen closet.

Just talking felt different. It felt nice. Felix just hoped he wouldn't do anything to mess it up.