The lap of life

Chapter 10: Farewel

After saying thank you and goodbye for the umpteenth time, you leave the Mclaren garage.

As you walk through the garages, you notice several members of the teams working on their business, preparing for the upcoming race weekend; some of them glance in your direction, clearly curious.

"Hey y/n, why were you in McLaren's garage?"

"I heard that McLaren has hired a new race engineer, who knows who it will be..."

"But Mercedes is also now looking for a new race engineer, but wasn't it you?"

"I have just signed the contract to become one of the race engineer for McLaren but until further notice I will still help George" you say.

Anyone who works in the paddock knows that Mercedes has always been your favorite and loved team, you even refused an interview with Red Bull Racing as soon as you found out you had been hired there, so your answer arouses a lot of interest in mechanics and engineers.

"Ah! switching teams, I hear?"

"McLaren is surely a good opportunity but moving from Mercedes is a quite big change, are you sure that you're making the right move?"

Seeing a tear falling on your cheek, they stop bothering you.

"But sometimes a change can be good for your career" only says Fusaro, before dispersing the circle of people who had surrounded you.

-

As you peer into the Mercedes garage, you see a number of team members going about their business, preparing for the upcoming race weekend; as soon as they, looking up, notice your presence, their eyes become filled with tenderness and, truly all of them, turn towards you in a mixture of amazement and sadness.

"So you're really leaving... But are you sure? Can we do something to help you? Has someone bothered you? We can point this out to Toto so we can resolve the problematic situation y/n, at least you can stay!"

Yes Bono... It would be possible if the problem wasn't our boss...

"Don't worry Bono, I chose all by myself to leave... I think McLaren will help me grow even more. Maybe I'll come back in the future, probably when you will be retired" you joke.

"You are a valuable member of the team... We'll miss having you around!" only replies Lewis' race engineer, not surprised by your way of hiding your sadness (everyone knows you too well by now).

You don't even have time to reply to him that the entire team surrounds you, giving you a group hug, and then, some smiling and others a little sad, they go back to their usual jobs.

"Oh, hey! Before going back to your things, where is Toto?"

"True, you have to say goodbye to him too. I think that he's in his office"

-

As you make your way up to Toto's office, you notice several members of the team going about their business in the offices; when you reach his door, you knock gently.

"Come in" says a familiar German voice from the inside.

The door creaks open and you enter; he is sitting behind the desk looking up from some documents.

"Oh, it's you... I hear that you're leaving us for McLaren, for real..."

"It's your fault" you only say, after taking a sit on the chair in front of his desk.

"My fault? How do you figure that?"

What? Has he already forgotten everything that happened some time ago? The crazy race in the garage, the chat at the finish line, ... Ok, he's involved in the grand prix but it's too strange.

"It's okay, it doesn't matter. I only came here to say goodbye, I'll see you at the next qualifying sessions" you say getting up, a little annoyed, with the idea of ​​leaving.

Toto looks up at you as you stand and his expression becoming conflicted because he clearly wants to say something.

"Wait, don't go yet..."

He feels the weight of your stare but decides to hold your gaze, with a vulnerable expression.

"Please, sit down. There's something I need to say..."

"No, I'm standing. Just talk"

"But please, sit down... This is not a comfortable conversation to have with you towering over me like that"

"If it causes you so much trouble, get up. I won't sit down" you thunder, taking advantage of this first situation in which he is submissive to you without letting this opportunity slip away.

He lets out an exasperated sigh and stands up from his chair coming around his desk to stand facing you, with his arms crossed on his chest and a serious expression.

"Now that we're on the same level, please let me speak. I know it must have hurt you when I chose Susie over you but I want you to understand, it wasn't an easy decision for me to make..."

"Ok, can i go now?"

"That's it? That's all you have to say? You're not even going to let me finish explaining?"

Anxiety gets the better of you: you start to feel your eyes filling with tears but, stubborn as you are, you continue to look him in the eyes; he must understand what he is losing!

"Toto please, I love you! Oh God... I wanted to say i like you... I liked you from the hiring meeting... For you I gave up a job at Red Bull..."

Knowing you've talked more than you wanted to, you try to reach the door again to escape.

"You... You love me?" he says, taking a step closer to you and studying your expression intently.

"Yes but my love can't have an happy end... You have Susie and your wonderful child, not to mention the other wonderful kids, while I'm a little girl with, with perhaps too many responsibilities... But i'm sure I'll find my happiness in helping Lando or Oscar win. Now I really have to go..."

"Wait, don't go yet. Let me ask you something"

"No Toto, now i go" you say, as you finally manage to reach the door and step out of the office which has suddenly become oppressive.

"I love you in a way that I never felt with Susie... I've tried to deny it, pretending that it's not true, but I can't hide it anymore... It's you, it's always been you!"

You can't believe what you just heard. He, the boss, just said that he loves you; no... it can't be true! But everything becomes concrete when all the people, who are working in the various offices on the same floor, start looking at you clearly shocked; out of shame, you run away without answering anything, leaving the man alone in his office with his face in his hands.