How to be loved

23 - It's Just Wrong

HOW TO BE LOVED

23 - It's Just Wrong

Freen's POV

"My bunnnnnyyy!!!" Nam's excited voice echoed from downstairs, announcing her arrival.

It was nearing evening, and I lay in my room, staring blankly at the ceiling. My mind kept drifting to Becky—wondering how she was doing and whether she might message me. I knew I was being foolish, but I couldn't help clinging to hope.

Nam's impatience was evident as she knocked on my door. "Are you asleep, Freen?"

I considered ignoring her and wallowing in my sadness, as I had done since last night. But I knew Nam wouldn't relent, so I finally called out, "I'm coming."

I slowly pushed myself off the bed, my movements sluggish as I tried to shake off the melancholy that had settled over me. I opened the door to find Nam standing there, her face bright with a wide grin that seemed almost too cheerful given my mood.

"Hey, Freen!" she said, her voice bubbling with energy. "I've missed you! How've you been?"

I forced a weak smile and stepped aside to let her in. "Hey, Nam. I've been... okay, I guess."

Nam's eyes immediately scanned the room, taking in the disarray. "You don't look okay, my bunny! What's up? You want to talk about it?"

I hesitated, the weight of everything pressing heavily on my chest. I knew I could confide in Nam, but the flood of emotions I was feeling felt overwhelming. "It's just... It's about Becky."

Nam's expression softened, and she walked over to sit on the edge of my bed. "What about that hot crush of yours?" she teased, trying to ease the heavy atmosphere.

I rolled my eyes and joined her, sitting down beside her on the bed. I glanced at the floor, struggling to find the right words. "I kissed her... we kissed, for real this time."

"Ohhhhh, that's great!" Nam exclaimed. "But why do you look so gloomy? Oh, don't tell me she's a bad kisser."

"The opposite, Nam," I responded, remembering the moment Becky and I shared last night. "It was breathtaking. Kissing her and her kissing me back felt so, so good. It was amazing."

Nam's eyes widened in excitement. "So what's the problem then?"

I sighed, the weight of the situation pressing down on me again. "I asked her to be my girlfriend. And she bolted out in an instant."

Nam laughed upon hearing me.

I slapped her shoulder. "Hey, stop it."

Nam tried her best to hold in her laughter. "Oh my Freen! Poor Becky, she must have been shocked by the sudden question. Why would you even do that?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know." I fell back onto the bed. "You can't blame me. I was holding off so long. And I saw a glimpse of hope when she kissed me back. I thought she might feel the same way. But maybe not."

Nam's eyes softened with understanding, and she lay back beside me, staring up at the ceiling. "I get it, Freen," she said quietly. "It's tough putting your heart out there and not knowing what's going to happen."

"Yeah," I murmured. "I just... I thought maybe she felt the same way. The kiss, it felt so real, you know? Like there was something more."

Nam turned her head to look at me, her eyes filled with sympathy. "Maybe she does feel the same way, but she's scared. Or maybe it's all new to her, and you're a good friend to her, and she doesn't know how to handle it."