Aristoi Achaion [A the song of Achilles fanfiction] 2

Chapter 41

*Briseis's pov*

A/N: TW:
-grief
-s£ic!dal thoughts
- mention of s£ic!de.

Have I ever been so heartbroken before? Have I?
I know I have been. When I got taken from my home and I lost everyone and everything, I was broken. I was nothing but a few pieces of glass trying to form the vase that one stood tall.
Yet, every time the vase breaks, the cracks become deeper and so do my feelings. It seems worse now, even though it's not even about me. Perhaps if I didn't care then the pain would be nonexistent. But that is my curse and I suppose I should live with it. 

It has been four days. Four painful, silent days. I tried to talk to her, I opened the tents door and begged to listen. I screamed, I screamed and cried to remind her of what she would be leaving behind if she starved herself.  She barely move, barely looked at me.
And the thought of what could happen to me if she doesn't survive scared me even more. I had no one. If she were gone I would be utterly alone and so would he. The wet nurse can ease his hunger but no one would be able to ease his pain if that were to happen.

And no one would be able to ease mine. Or anyone's really, not for the people who care. And there are people who do, weather she believes it or not.
I know she and her mother aren't in contact anymore. And it's terrible, I know it is.
At least mine took her own life, she preferred it, to being a slave. I know I can't talk to her anymore because she is gone. It's different to know they are still there but not for you.

The body of the great Achilles is well prepared. The nymphs came before we did. She was there as well, she grieved just like her daughter did but it seemed she had no intention of sharing that grief, trying to bond through it. Now it's wrapped in purple fabric, waiting to be turned into ashes. I fell bad for him, maybe, just a bit. Ones soul to linger through the earth is a painful thing they say but now at least they linger together.
I blamed him for what happened to Patroclus and perhaps I blamed Alcippe a little bit -even though I did not show it- but he deserves to rest. That's the only thing he deserves.
Perhaps he was good as a brother, the only thing he seems to be good at, asides from being a butcher of people. Well. They all are, some are just kinder when they return to the camp.

A/N: when Otto Hightower in HOTD said "You look so much like your mother in certain lights" that was so Alcippe and Thetis coded.

The night came, a dark and cloudy one without stars. They were too embarrassed to show up, as if the stories of past griefs would outshine hers.

It was finally quiet, no dinners, to talks of war, no fuss and the sweet boy I care as if he was my own was finally asleep. Perhaps it wouldn't last long, maybe he would wake up screaming again, but for the time being, all was quiet. Most times, he wasn't crying because of needs he was unable to express his words, he just seemed scared. The arms he was used to being held by were no longer there. Two of them were in an urn and the  others locked up in a tent. And I was barely hanging on, my thoughts keeping me awake. I saw her smile, I didn't even have to close my eyes to see it, bright and full of life, I wanted her to be like that again but no one seemed to be able to being her back.

I heard footsteps. Ajax, he told me he would try to talk to her again.

"Does she even sleep?" I asked him. All though the answer was all over his face.
"We hear crying every night, you know she doesn't"
I took a deep breath.
"Perhaps if I go tomorrow again she will listen" I raised my hands in hopelessness.

"I doubt it. You have tried, I have, almost every single person in this camp has. Even Agamemnon has sent people, hoping to convince her to get back to war...This man has no shame"