𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 | 𝘑𝘰𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘒𝘭𝘦𝘪𝘯

Chapter 26 - What Are We Now?

"Joost is here."

"What?"
Silence.
"Aggu", I stated,"What do you mean he is here?"
He looked away to the stage entrance.
"I- He's in the crowd somewhere. Please Lenny, I just want you to talk!", he practically begged.
I sneered: "No, Aggu. You knew exactly I would perform that song and you know it's about him! Why would you do that?!"
"I know, I know. I'm really sorry Lennon, please. We're all suffering from this. You keep pushing us away and refuse to talk to someone, especially Joost. Do you even want your relationship to work?", he accused me with a raised voice. It made me glare at him in disbelief and taking a step back. "Wait- Lenny! I didn't mean it like that-", he caught himself.
"No, fuck no. I literally have been telling you how I feel about this whole thing. I have told you how I feel about Joost. Fucking hell, Aggu. You were the first person I told I was in love with him and you have the audacity to say I don't care about our relationship?!", I screamed. With anger came sadness, making tears run down my cheeks.

"Lennon."

The utterance of my name made my head snap towards the voice. My heart sank. Joost stood there, mouth agape. He looked astonished by our argument. I didn't have much time to think though. My legs already moved in his direction. Without any talking, I threw my arms around his neck, pulling Joost close to me. He didn't hesitate to press me to his body as well.
The palpable tension in the air was a blend of longing and unresolved feelings. The hug was a reminder of the intimacy we once shared.
My hand found the back of his head, gently running my fingers through his hair. Joost stretched his arms even further in attempt to hold me tighter than before. Our embrace spoke books of our love.

"I'm so endlessly sorry", Joost whispered, a crack appearing.
"Me too", I whispered back,"Can we talk, please?"
He nodded with his head in the crook of my neck. It made me pull away, taking his hand to leave. I was still upset at Aggu, so I left him there without any further explanation, only a last glare.

——

Tempelhof was right around the corner, being my destination. No one spends time there at night, except for a few runners. We slowed down our pace to stroll around the old airplane runways.

"I didn't mean to... leave", Joost started.
"I know", I looked down at my feet,"I get it, you needed space. I shouldn't have lashed out like that, it wasn't your fault."
"No it's okay, I shouldn't have pressured you to talk to me when you didn't want to."
"But I should have talked to you. You are- well were my boyfriend after all, you deserved to know", the mention of our split made my heart shatter. I didn't know if we really broke up.
It was clearly a difficult topic for Joost too.

My mind raced back to Nienke and her post.
"So... who is Nienke?", my question being straightforward wasn't surprising.
A sigh left Joost's mouth: "She's an old friend, we grew up together." I nodded, taking in the information. He wasn't a liar but I had to hear it coming from him.
I bit my lip anxiously: "Did you do anything with her?" This made Joost stop in his tracks and me look up to him. He looked pained.
"No", he shook his head slowly,"I would never. Do you... think I cheated on you?"
"Not necessarily, just her post-"
"Oh the post", Joost interrupted. Confusion hit me. "Lennon, that picture was taken last year. I don't know why she posted it now but you have to believe me, I never did anything with her and I never will!"
His words satisfied me, clearing up one part of my mind. "I believe you, I was just broken."
Joost's eyes softened and tried to clear up the mood: "She actually told me she's a fan of you. That sent me spiralling and then I came back."
"Oooh I might have to meet her then!", I giggled. It wasn't a joke, I actually wanted to meet her.
He chuckled: "She'll probably come to your tour anyway."
"Sure but she does not have to pay for tickets when she's friends with you!", I explained with a smile.